Wow, it's been awhile since I posted here.  Guess I haven't felt as much need for the forum lately.  It's been a year and a month since we got our son back.  When he was released from the hospital he was a tiny 120 pounds (he's 5'9).  He was very gaunt and unhealthy looking from the depression that almost ended his life.  We were scared to death and I thought every time I fussed at him about something he would go try to kill himself.  I was checking on him every 5 minutes until he was just frustrated to death.

There were some people here who told me to get over it and stop babying him so much.  It hurt me and I thought they just didn't understand.

Now he weighs about 145 pounds and he hasn't grown in height.  He smiles alot more.  The frustration that used to send him over the edge just doesn't affect him like that.  He gets angry the way me and his dad get angry.  He raises his voice slightly to make a point. The tantrums just aren't happening and haven't happened in a year.

I think the most important change is how we relate to each other.  I don't think I've raised my voice to him at all, in turn we're able to discuss most things in a calm and reasonable manner.  I didn't realize how much his temperament affected mine and vice versa.

He's flourished with his guitar playing.  He picked that up a year ago and plays for hours every day.  He's learned alot of songs.  Sometimes he looks at tabs but mostly he's playing by ear.  The biggest thing is he's taken responsibilty for his schoolwork and showing how smart he is.  The last several times he's had a math assignment, he'd say, "I don't get it." I'll look at it for 5 minutes and go "Hmm wow I don't know. Do you have examples to look at in your notes?"  Then I leave the room.  After about 10 minutes, he comes out and says "By George I got it."  It's making him feel smart that he can do something his mom can't do.  The other day I looked at my husband and said, "Why didn't I ever do this before?"

There are changes in him and there are changes in me.  I have to treat him like he's capable.  He really is capable and I'm finally seeing that my babying him didn't do any favors for him.

He's going to be fine I feel.  As long as he has confidence in himself and I don't make him feel like he needs me so much.

It's a tough lesson for any mother.  We overprotect our kids because we love them so much.  We want to make everything perfect for them.  Life isn't perfect.  There are ups and downs and you have to learn to deal with them in a positive way.  You have to know how to deal with stress because it is a part of being an adult.  You also have to stop and see the good parts.  The best part of being a parent is looking at your adult children, realizing what incredible people they are and knowing that you played a small part in that.