I am 23 yrs old and a female. I have read quite a few books on bipolar but none portray the intence cycling or emotions that I suffer from. I have cycled so fast and for so long that I don't know what is me anymore. I found out a year ago when anti-depressants made me go crazy. I'm talking about mania x10. I lost 30lbs and became an insomniac. I ended up being so violent and distorted in thought that it took about 6 months to cool me down.
People tell me that I am different that I am special. They say that I have a lot of potential, but I wonder if it is only the mania and the bipolar. I look at the celebrities that have had bipolar and as amazing as they were they were also desturbed people. Some commited suicide others did drugs and vangough cut off his ear. I am not inspired. I don't know anyone with bipolar and am surrounded by people that don't even want to believe in this illness. So far this does not seem to be a gift.
Does anyone around my age have this?
Bipolarism can be a gift and a curse at the same time. Depends on who you ask and where they are on the roller coaster track…up, down or somewhere in the middle. What are the frequency of the swings and durations…how long they last?
You go on to name a number of famous people and how they coped with the illness. I would not recommend cutting off you ear or using non prescription drugs. You do have friends that have the illness and do understand what you’re going through. We may not be there physically, but are just a few keystrokes away at your beckon call.
What also may help is to try private journaling to get a better idea of the duration and frequency of the swings and also a way to release things that are bothering you at that time. Do not write to anyone else…this is your private get away and there are plenty of places on-line to keep it from prying eyes.