Having just come out of a short yet profoundly disturbing depression, I can say that yes I think my meds are working. This latest depression came on suddenly, but only lasted exactly one week. (On the eighth day, I rested.)

I do not usually experience such short bursts of Ups or Downs though I do have a documented history of rapid cycling. My Downs are usually of a much longer duration than my Ups. (I often refer to manic episodes as Ups or Highs and depressive episodes as Downs or Lows. Not hard to understand, but I thought I should clarify the terminology.)

For this one week, I was emotionally destroyed. I literally woke up one morning terribly depressed. I knew I would be sad; I had just returned home after a visit with the love of my life, with whom I am in a long-distance relationship. But I was more than sad. It was morning. I was awake. But everything felt like a bad dream. I couldn't see straight. It was as if my eyes were looking at the world through a tunnel, looking as if from somewhere behind my head. This is a very difficult symptom to explain to anyone who hasn't experienced it. The world appears distant, poorly lit, and smudged at the edges. I recognized this feeling and I knew I was in for trouble.

I would like to talk about what it feels like to suddenly be somebody else. I know this depressed person is not the entire me. Of course, it is me, but it is an incomplete and disorganized conglomeration of myself.

My voice sounds like another man's.

I get two left hands.

I don't look where I am going.

Brushing my teeth seems like a massive undertaking requiring much more energy and commitment than I could ever muster.

(And the list goes on.)

Normally my symptoms of depression come on a bit at a time and worsen over a series of days or weeks. Then they stabilize for a while before slowly letting up. It is usually an understandable and gradual process. But not this time.

I woke up and I was all the way down. I stayed there for five days. It took only two days for the world to brighten, my vision to normalize, and my energy level to increase to my baseline. When I was out of the depression, I knew it.

I think this episode is an indication that my medication regimen is working. There is no cure for Bipolar Disorder, but we can manage it with various therapies and medications. I came out of that severe depression, which would have normally devastated my life, job, schooling, relationships for months, with only a few scratches. 

It was noticeably tempered. I take a complex regimen of meds every day. I take Prozac, Abilify, Lamictal, Wellbutrin in their various doses and frequencies. Not every set of medications works for everyone. I have been living with Bipolar Disorder for 12 years, and I work closely with my psychiatrist to get things as effective as possible.

It has been a over a month since that last depressive episode and I am still feeling good...not manic, just good.