I, myself, at this very moment... want to die

I also, myself, at this very moment... do not really want to be dead

I, myself, at this very moment... just want it all to stop

and yet... I know folks... other folks.. have a much harder life than I do

they live through horrors I do not even want to fathom

they go through things, in their daily lives, I would never wish on an enemy of mine

and yet here I am... weak, incapable, a failure in my life

i've lived through stuff... stuff others would find unable to fathom

stuff others wouldn't wish on their enemies

so, i'm stuck in the middle... you see

and yet... because others do have it so much worse

i feel that i am just whining and complaining

a failure, a weakling

you see

so, at this very moment, in my life, as I type.... I wish to die, I want to be no more

and at the same time... I want to just make it all stop and not really be dead

i just really want to sleep... just sleep

and awaken when it's springtime.... with the green grass, the flowers blooming, and the bunnies hopping

to most likely... a short time afterward

want to be dead, or asleep again