If I were to put up a post-it note every place a job is neglected during a bipolar depression, I think my home would quickly be papered with them.
The first three: brush hair. Brush teeth. Wash face. Oh well, I'll have to do those later. Let's see if I can't do better in the bedroom.
Well, no. No clean underwear means we stick "do laundry" on the hamper. I barely notice anymore that there are two empty bags of cat kibble on the bureau along with one full bag the cats ripped open . Nor do I give more than a glancing look at cat vomit stains on the floor. More notes: clear bureau, clean and vacuum bedroom floor, dust, put dirty clothes in laundry.
After getting dressed I head downstairs to the kitchen. OH my god. Chaos. Both sides of the sink are filled with dirty dishes and empty cat food cans.
But in depression even one job is too much to handle. The only reason I feel the cats is that they won't stop bugging me until I do. So I leave the kitchen covered in post-its and head to the office. Here are jobs not done, papers not filed, bills not paid - even a couple of checks not deposited.
Wouldn't it be lovely to be able to just flit through the house doing those jobs and tearing up those notes? This is my home, I keep telling myself. But the problem is, those jobs don't just stay where they are - they also drop their weight on your shoulders.
This is living with bipolar depression. How can you cope with it?
Published On: April 30, 2012
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