What a year. I've had two serious illnesses and a significant depressive episode. I think once my body recovers from the second illness my mood will improve significantly, because I had one day - just one - when I felt really good physically, and was happy all day. Unfortunately, the amount of work I was able to do that day led to exhaustion for the three days following. I'm not well. My body needs more time - probably another 3 weeks. In the meantime, depression is getting worse again.
Snapshot: Down on my potting bench I have bulbs for lilies, cannas, dutch irises, liatris and peacock orchids waiting to be planted. I'm strong enough now that I could take care of them - but I haven't.
Snapshot: Five empty Frappucino bottles on my desk, plus 3 empty glasses. One square foot of bare space that's covered with cigarette ashes and cat hair. I could take care of the worst of it in 5 minutes - but I haven't.
Snapshot: Shopping bags on the kitchen floor still unpacked after more than two weeks. Two or three sets of them. Ten minutes' easy work not done.
Snapshot: I have not washed my hair in nearly a month. Yes, some of that's because I was in the hospital for 5 days and came out with poor balance and trouble even sitting up for very long. But it's been at least ten days since I *was* in good enough shape to wash it. Instead, my hair gets grungier by the day - and doesn't have to.
If you took snapshots of the effects of your depression, what would they be?
Published On: May 22, 2012
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