My Longest Hypomanic Episode

Marcia Purse Health Guide
  • It was 18 years ago, and I had hit bottom. Paralyzed by depression, ridden with guilt over being unable to get out of it and suffering high anxiety because of the guilt, I told my counselor that I really didn't know what to do. Over the years I'd developed a slew of tricks to get myself moving again - but this time they'd all failed. I was in trouble at work, too. She asked me if I thought it was time to try antidepressant medication, and I nearly cried.


    So off I went to the doctor, who prescribed Prozac and told me to come back in two weeks. Nothing much happened, though the morning of my follow-up appointment I had a moderate panic attack. Told the doctor this, and he prescribed Xanax in case that happened again. The following week, Prozac kicked in.

    Add This Infographic to Your Website or Blog With This Code:


    It was awesome.


    I went from being racked with the inability to make even simple decisions, paralyzed, anxious and guilty, to confident and smiling. Prioritize tasks? NO problem. My entire demeanor changed. When I walked, I looked ahead, not at my feet. I could handle disagreements that cropped up. At another follow-up, the doctor called me "the poster child for Prozac."


    I thought this was the way normal people felt all the time - and it was something I'd never felt before. I'd never heard of hypomania, anyway.


    It lasted a full year, but then, gradually, the Prozac effect lessened. I also started gaining weight again around that time - 20 pounds in two years. (Prozac was new then, and nobody knew the long-term effects on weight.)


    Eventually Prozac stopped working altogether, but for that first year - oh lordy, it was wonderful!


    But - I still don't know how normal people feel.

Published On: May 29, 2012