My Mom Never Taught Me to Cook

6/30/12 5:37pm

keeping in mind that you are in a "mood" state which is fairly evident

it's not your mom's fault you are overweight and not cooking the meals you "think" you need to cook to be more healthy

uhm... it's your's

she didn't teach you to cook but you can teach yourself... you can MAKE yourself do what you "feel" needs to be done.. you just don't have it in you to do that, right now

you are also female and I'm gathering, not a "spring" young 20-30 year old chick anymore... which means your hormones are also, most likely, in play somehow

in addition to ALL the psych meds you are taking that are known weight gainers

you've been through 2 major illnesses, rather back to back... you've likely not fully recovered from... and you've been stressed out the whazoo

you've also gone through some major "mood" episodes here of late (you've posted)

so... speak to the docs about the weight and what they might can do to offer assistance.. that may mean lowering your weight inducing meds OR switching them out to something less weight inducing

find a nutritionist or a dietician... that can perhaps help you figure up a diet and try, best as you are able... to follow it

get out and exercise more... if you are physically able

and learn to cook... take cooking lessons from your local community center or community college... something maybe you've always wanted to learn and never had the umph to try... but would love to be able to do

there are many things that I also "should be" doing or "should not" be doing and it's so easy for someone to sit behind a screen and give suggestions or opinions... it's so utterly hard to follow any of what YOU know "ought" to be done or "ought not" to be done

but if you allow yourself to focus and dwell on the shoulds, should nots, ought tos, and ought nots

that's exactly where you'll remain... dwelling, malingering, and focusing

that much.. I do know

it's not your mom's fault that you are overweight because she didn't teach you to cook... and though a good part of it is the psychiatric medications, stress, medical illnesses, and mental illness...

ONLY you can do something to make it better...

not your mom, not your doctor, not your therapist

and yes, I know... Go to Hell Tabby... but, I had to say what I felt and

it wasn't to be ugly or mean, unsympathetic or derogeratory

just straight up - pixel - honest as I read it

you are in a "mood" state.. and you can't seem to get out of it just yet

be good to yourself but try, a little wee step at a time... to pull yourself out

even if it is just one baby step at a time Marcia...

Glo

6/30/12 6:12pm

Wow! Are we ever on the same page Marsha! I've been dealing with all this since 1985; and that's only when it was diagnosed. I don't remember how much earlier that I was feeling this way. Probably several years cause I wouldn't go to the doctor until it was extremely necessary & then I found out. At 35 I thought my bi-polar-ness was not that. I just thought I was really happy & I liked it so the dr. just called it major depression because I insisted that it was only normal happy. Only over the years did I recognize my happy feelings were not the ordinary happy feelings. I think I just eased into it & the dr. then said I was bi-polar. Today, my ups & downs are so well defined that I almost know the day it starts. Then I just keep track of everything in my journal. What I wanted to talk to you about was the cooking. After my first round of ECT way back when, I totally didn't want to do anything. Since I had no idea what ECT's after effects should be other than I wasn't supposed to be depressed. I had to teach myself to do everything again. Get this, my psychiatrist never picked up on this. But I had to make myself make coffee in the mornings cause I didn't want to do anything but eat, sleep,bathroom breaks and watch TV for hours. Nobody knew what was going on with me. I didn't either. I found out 20yrs. later after an MRI that it looked like I had had a mini-stroke in previous years and did I know that? It finally made sense to me what had happened. I must have had a "controlled" mini-stroke though I'm sure it was considered a controlled seizure cause it wasn't even discussed why my life had so changed. I think I did pretty good considering I didn't have any occupational therapy to learn these things again. Anyway, one of the things that didn't come back was cooking. To this day, I would rather not cook but some things I just have to do unless there's an easier route to take. Like you said about grabbing anything out of the fridge. I do that too. Here is the thing that I have found has been working for me. I buy lots of vegetables & a tomato base, any kind of noodles and shredded cheese. I make soup at least twice a week. I should make it only once a week then I wouldn't have to use my preparation & cooking skills so much. Even easier would be to use canned vegetables and that would cut out alot of the preparation & time involved. From one doctors visit to the next one, probably a month went by, I actually lost 7lbs. & I didn't even know it!! So I continue to make soup and eat it. Sometimes I'll put meat in it but mostly I get my protein from the shredded cheese. You can eat all you want & never gain weight. I mix it around some times on that 2nd bowl of soup. I'll leave out the noodles or I'll not use the cheese. If I were more enthused about cooking, I would look up different recipes for different kinds of soup. Someday I will do just that; whenever. On paydays I splurge and have fast food so I don't deprive myself of things that I love. I love the fish from LongJohnSilvers. Only twice a month but I always look forward to payday, not just for money but for my treat! I have a packet of oatmeal & 2 sl. of toast w/butter. I will continue this, I think, for the rest of my life and hopefully one day my weight will be where it's supposed to be. Isn't that what we're all looking for? A diet that doesn't make you feel like you're dieting! Seems to work for me! I hope you'll try it & see for yourself. I exercise a little. Not enough but I get high when I exercise regularly so I have to keep it at a minimal amount so I can feel more my normal. Life's a b- - - - - but ya gotta deal with it.

Of-Two-Minds about it

6/30/12 10:54pm

When I know longer had to cook for a family, I stopped cooking pretty much. Until I remarried a couple of years ago, I pretty much lived on the basics, and I would go through phases. Cereal, morning or night, yogurt, a big sandwich with good bread, lunch meats, cheese and tomatos, and Marie Calendar frozen meals. And.. of course regular offerings from junkfood group. I will admit it, I eat like a teenager, and if I didn't have a husband who loves to cook and makes dinner everynight, I would still be eating the big sandwiches and Marie Calendar Dinners.

I can cook, I cook well, but I don't like doing it anymore. When trying to impress my new husband, I did cook some meals- specialties of the house- and occasionally he will put in a request :) for a favorite.

Of-Two-Minds about it

6/30/12 10:55pm

When I know longer had to cook for a family, I stopped cooking pretty much. Until I remarried a couple of years ago, I pretty much lived on the basics, and I would go through phases. Cereal, morning or night, yogurt, a big sandwich with good bread, lunch meats, cheese and tomatos, and Marie Calendar frozen meals. And.. of course regular offerings from junkfood group. I will admit it, I eat like a teenager, and if I didn't have a husband who loves to cook and makes dinner everynight, I would still be eating the big sandwiches and Marie Calendar Dinners.

I can cook, I cook well, but I don't like doing it anymore. When trying to impress my new husband, I did cook some meals- specialties of the house- and occasionally he will put in a request :) for a favorite.

24hbipolar2

7/ 1/12 6:25am

Marsha,

I am right there with you. My Mom never taught me to cook. I have 8 brothers and sisters, so meal-time was a chore, making food for all those mouths. Even when everyone left home, my Mom would make a large batch of everything and we would just eat leftovers. When I was married, my husband cooked. He was quite good, I realizd after my divorce. Having to feed myself became a chore. I would have a 2 week rotation where I would make the same foods over and over. Since I have started Saphris, for the first time I have a weight problem. I am so shocked and dimayed. I know exactly why, I eat carbs like I will never have another meal. Even knowing that I have this behavior doesn't keep me from eating them. I have a 7 year old daughter and I must make meals for her. A good portion of the time they are ready-to-cook meals, high in fat and carbs. She is a picky eater. No wonder, eh? I keep crackers, cookies and ice cream for her. Interestingly, I have no trouble with the ice cream and cookies, just the crackers. I will just have to stop buying them. I really don't like to cook. Taking a class would be a chore. I know I must get a handle on the eating problem. I hate being overweight. I recently came out of a BIG depressive cycle...on a new med antidepressant valled Vybriid. I tried metformin to help with the weight gain, but gained 5 pounds while I was on it!! I agree with your Blah. After the depressive cycle, it was like waking up to find out I am fat. I have always been on the thin side, so this really bothers me. I hope, with this new medicine, I will have the energy to start exercising. So far, I feel better, but no raging desire to get on the teadmill, especially when it is so hot.

Donna-1

7/ 1/12 6:53am

Unfortunately I am a testimony to the fact that olanzapine can cause a tremendous 24x7 appetite. My weight doubled in the first few months. And now I'm back on it again...probably for ever. I have tried multiple times to lose, and even if I do lose, the weight comes right back. It is disheartening to say the least.

And really, not knowing how to cook doesn't have much to do with it. And sometimes, not even eating the "right" foods can make a difference. I can gain weight on yogurt, fresh produce, lean meat, and chick peas. If I cook (I am single) it only means leftovers in the refrigerator that I am bound to eat between meals. Right now I'm trying to time my eating so that I only allow myself to eat every 3 hours, and then I try to eat something substantial. I've only been on the Zyprexa a few weeks and I've already gained 8 lbs on top of the other. Seems there's no way to win the weight game.

However, on the positive side, I am having no MI symptoms...except depression caused by standing on the bathroom scales.

24hbipolar2

7/ 4/12 7:04am

I agree with you...my most depressive feelings come from looking at myself in the mirror!

cathryne

7/ 2/12 11:09am

4 Frapiccino's a day. With Colitis. Good job. Aren't we good to ourselves. And we wonder why were depressed, we treat ourselves like c#p. I think my actual weight gain comes from my depression, rather than my meds. I eat vegies only at night and fruit in the morning and then a regular meal at lunch and still no weight movment. None. I walk about 4 miles a day. Whiich unfortunately my body has become use to and so now doesn't do anything for my weight at all.

But it is boring to cook for just yourself. I use to cook veal saltimboca and crepes, make bernaise sauce. Not any more. I always think, well I did eat breakfast this AM so cooking lunch is a waste of time so Ill just have cereal. That's my big thing, cereal instead of a real meal.

I don't really know how to make a meal interesting and fat free. My mom was a terrible cook, we had to eat. So my dad cooked on the maid's night off. We had a maid because my mom couldn't cook. Really. I taught myself to cook and found it interesting. But no longer. And so I really don't know how to cook, actually, because I can't vary it from just regular semi-gourmet and then go towards fat free and make it taste ok. And so I eat cereal, or sometimes a sandwich or baked chicken and I weight 25 pounds more than I should. (Though when I went off Invega I lost about 15 extra pounds that med had put on me.)

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