This is my story. It is one of many haunts and furies. Only those who have experienced the sadness, the fear, and the wanting to be "normal" can understand what truly happens when depression and anxiety ravages the very soul. This is a story that I will claim and try to tell with clarity, so that all who have interest may understand the seriousness and intensity of my disease. So onward we shall march into the depths of battle seeking truth, wisdom, insight and healing. I wanted to experience life and so into the fight I went and I became immersed.
I am some one who was unblessed with depression and anxiety. To be more specific, I fight major and chronic depression with generalized and social anxiety. I have had panic attacks so powerful that I feel I am ready to pass out. They take me to a point of being unable to see anything but blazing white light. And I have a story to tell that is about facing all of what I have described without becoming a victim. So I shall begin with my childhood and unravel the tale.
This is the introduction to my book, which will chronicle a long and winding journey of ups and downs. I think it is important to say here that there have been so many more ups than downs, and the insight I have gained from my struggle with depression and anxiety is invaluable. I used to ask "why me?" and my mother would say "why not you." With that response she was reminding me of my inner strength and commitment to continue to fight, learn and understand my life in terms of the successes and rewards I have reaped from all of my efforts. She would also tell me to think about the people I have helped and those who have helped me. So my journey has been one of personal growth, self nourishment, compassion and comfort. And for all that I know now I would not trade my experiences for anything that I could ever possibly embrace.
Introduction written May 9, 2008, by Pamela J. Lindsay, A.L.M.
