The Slump Gets Slumpier
After eating and drinking too much late last night, getting up after nine, and watching the Wimbledon final this morning, I have a total case of “worthless is me.” Not only am I sleepy, unfocussed, and indecisive—I’ve now become grumpy as well. Adrian gets the brunt of that, and I’d advise him to give me lots of room. I’ve already snapped at him a couple of times today for no reason.
I feel like I am squandering my life. There are too many piles of paper on my desk that need attention. I haven’t done any painting in weeks. I can’t seem to even deal with the email that is piling up in my inbox.
I also feel bad that a bipolar friend of mine is having such a hard time with her life. While I tried to say everything I could to help shore up her confidence, I felt helpless to really make a difference. I suppose the best we can do for each other is to really listen sympathetically, and to provide a reality check when friends are getting off track.
It is upsetting, nonetheless, to watch someone self-destruct. I think that’s one of the hardest things about participating in a support group. You get to enjoy the progress made by some members, but you also get to see the waste and destruction when people can’t keep it together. It’s depressing to watch, and we have to protect ourselves from the fall-out.
I am worried for my friend, and when I’m down to start with, every negative is magnified. But letting myself fall into a deeper depression won’t help her. I need to stay strong so I can lend an ear again when she needs me.
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Published On: July 14, 2006
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