Here I am in the middle of another bad depression. I have bipolar II and I so fight with depression. It has been so difficult for me to keep my head above water. I feel very guilty and very ashamed because I just cannot seem to get a grip on this illness. I do not have many people around me who understand so I really try and hide it but that takes so much energy. I left my job due to this depression and now I just hide out. When I was feeling good I started dating again and now I have a boyfriend who moved in with me. He is a nice man and I have told me about my bipolar but here I am sinking again. I have not let him see this but I have told him about it. He said that I did not act depressed and that I should think about the people in places like China who are suffering so.........I know that many people in this world are much worse off than I am and I do not need to be told that. I just want to take to my bed until this passes but I feel that I cannot not do that. So I pretend but it is getting almost impossible to keep this up. I do not trust people with my depression because I have not been treated very kindly when I have reached out. Does anyone have any suggestions? I just need to be me, even if that me is depressed............I cannot pretend anymore because it feels like it is killing me...........thanks for your input.....Pam
Another depression
It really amazes me that what people can't see, they choose not to deal with. You can't see bipolar, depression or a thousand other things, but they are real problems that many people have to live with. My heart goes out to you and your circumstances. I know that does not make your problem go away. There are people out there who do understand and will listen and try to get what you are feeling. Keep reaching, hopefully you will find that person who listens and cares. I am caregiver to my 20 year old bipolar daughter and it always freaks me out that people in her life see her as a normal person(she looks normal, so she must be) and can not accept the fact that she doesn't quite work the same way they do. It is very hard for her to understand why some people just don't get it. After a while, she feels like it's not even worth her effort to keep trying. I am trying really hard to make her see that this is her journey through life and she has to find the best way to get there. You have to keep trying because things are just not acceptable for her well being and you've got to find a better way. I send all my prayers and good wishes for you and please, don't quit trying. You will get there, it's not an easy journey.
Thanks for your response! I try to be a good mom, sometimes it's not easy and we ALL make mistakes, but I am pretty much the only person in her life who understands her and tries to help her. Anytime you need someone who will listen without judgement and try very hard to understand what you feel, contact me and I will try to be there for you. God bless you.
Dear Friend,
Try mastering your thought life by Fasting From Wrong Thinking:
http://www.ThinkingFast.org
Let the resurrection power of Jesus Christ give you victory over your condition!
Blessings,
Bob
Here's another step to take. You can sow some seed each and every day. Do something for someone else expecting nothing in return. Buy a meal for a homeless person. Give something of yours to someone else that needs it. Serve others. You will be blessed 10 fold by your actions. It will aid your healing.
You may also want to check out the video called "Taking Control of your Health God's Way" at this link.
http://tinyurl.com/6lfb6t
God Bless you!
Are you seeing your therapist? I think it's helpful to really release all of those feelings with an objective person. Good luck and I hope your doctor can get your med combination right to make you feel better.
Take care.
Yes, I do see my counselor every two weeks and she is very helpful. I am on a new med and I think it is helpful. Thank you so much for your care and concern. It really does mean so much to me. That is what I love so about this site. There are people who understand and have compassion and empathy..........thanks again, Pam
I'm feeling a lot like you. This disease is sooo isolating. I was diagnosed with bipolar II in the last year after suffering from depression off and on for years. Now, it seems the pdoc can not find a drug or drug cocktail that will help me feel better. I've been having a severe depressive episode for the last two weeks where I feel I can barely function. Just thinking of that and how frustrated I am that the drugs are not working, I don't want to go on. The only thing that gets me up in the morning is my child; if he wasn't here that would be the end of me. Even my partner doesn't understand very well how this stupid disease is affecting me and that makes me feel even more isolated. Who can you talk to about this? Who can really understand unless they're going through it themselves?
Your partner telling you to think of people less off than you is bull! He's not supporting you or trying to understand your disease at all. I've had people say similar things to me when I tell them I'm depressed. Some people just don't get it. It's too uncomfortable for them to really see what you're feeling. Depression and bipolar aren't about wanting attention. They are totally about chemical imbalances; something we have no control over, other than trying to "normalize" our moods with medications!
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Thank you so much for your comments. It does help a lot, more than I can express!
Hi pam, I just wanted to ask you. My wife is bipolar and we openly discuss it but i wanted to ask you when she is depressed should i acknowledge it and let her know i am there for her and i am trying to educate myself on how to deal with her disease. or should i wait till she gets through her depression and let her know then i am educating myself and supporting her.
I think that both. You should let her know that you are with her and you are educating yourself and trying to learn more about her illness. Everyone is different but support is so important to everyone. I am a retired social worker (left early because of this disorder) and I have worked with people with all kinds of problems and support always helps. I applaud you for your willingness to support your wife and you willingness to learn more about her illness. That has not been my experience, so good for you. To sum up, I think it is ok to say to someone who is depressed that you are sorry they are feeling so poorly but you are here to listen and you are here to support them. People at that time are sensitive. And to tell her that you are trying, through education to understand her illness is in my mind a wonderful thing to do......hang in there and know that I think you are a great human being with the capacity for compassion............which is a wonderful human quality........Pam