Another depression

Here I am in the middle of another bad depression.  I have bipolar II and I so fight with depression.  It has been so difficult for me to keep my head above water.  I feel very guilty and very ashamed because I just cannot seem to get a grip on this illness.  I do not have many people around me who understand so I really try and hide it but that takes so much energy.  I left my job due to this depression and now I just hide out.  When I was feeling good I started dating again and now I have a boyfriend who moved in with me.  He is a nice man and I have told me about my bipolar but here I am sinking again.  I have not let him see this but I have told him about it.  He said that I did not act depressed and that I should think about the people in places like China who are suffering so.........I know that many people in this world are much worse off than I am and I do not need to be told that.  I just want to take to my bed until this passes but I feel that I cannot not do that.   So I pretend but it is getting almost impossible to keep this up.  I do not trust people with my depression because I have not been treated very kindly when I have reached out.  Does anyone have any suggestions?  I just need to be me, even if that me is depressed............I cannot pretend anymore because it feels like it is killing me...........thanks for your input.....Pam