Sunday, October 11, 2009
It is almost sadistic. I get these fleeting moments of normalcy, though they are gone by morning, but not forgotten. Is there a time of day that crazy just takes a nap? Is it a sign of getting better, getting worse? I am so tired of new things happening to be honest with you! I would settle for manic if I thought I would stay there... at least my house is clean clean clean. I would settle for just about anything if it would stick around for more than a day. Oh the funny part is I remember thinking "Oh bipolar disorder, at least it cant get any worse." Well it can and its called rapid cycling. What good is boundless energy if you are too apathetic to use it?
it is impossable to get things done when you are a restless manic....so what is the point? i am sad to say that i have hardly ever been euphoric. i wish i could get to that point!?
oh well....but being or well having ultra-ultra rapid-cycling sucks! it seems like i'll never be able to be normal. so i know how you feel about this. i am always something? what i don't always know. but i have learned to deal. i have been feeling better these days and i hope it is not just because i am hypomanic.
darkangel