Need Advice

Hi,

  So i finally find someone who has had a long, wonderful relationship with her husband just to 'loose' everything to the illness.

   My husband whom I've been married to for 12 beautiful years (no major symptoms all these years) was diagnosed 3 months ago at age 44 after trying to commit suicide and going into a Major Manic Episode. He is on meds for 2 months now but still extremely psychotic ...and guess what the woman he adored 3 months ago is now his number 1 enemy, he hates everything about me, says he wasted 12 years of his life and the list of insults go on....

    3 months into it, I can even comprehend how the illness has taken the amazing, funny, kind respectful man that I love away from me!

   He moved out of the house, doesn't talk to me or trust me. When I see him I can't even look into his eyes, even his physical appearance has changed. I do NOT recognize that man---he is not my Husband!

   On the top of all that we have a 2 year old that I've been trying to 'shield' from all this madness.

   And even reading all the literature about being diagnosed, and being patient and allowing the meds to really work....3 months into this Hell it feels like all the wonderful 12 years of love are just fading away...and I don't know what to do either!

     But this is one thing that I am doing (I guess the fact that I have a child makes me stronger in so many ways--I need to be healthy for her). I'm trying to take care of my physical and mental health (I try to keep up my 5-days a week work out even of for just 20 minutes-yoga helps a lot). I see my wonderful psychologist once a week. And I suggest that you start telling your family. I did tell my family and they keep me 'above water' when I feel like I'm drowning!!!  DON'T hide from your family or his.

    You/He should not be ashamed that he has this illness. I see it like any other chronic disease, that with treatment and leading a healthy life can be managed (it's true!).

    You need to find yourself a 'support system' and family is critical, friends that you trust are great too!

    It's not that I've told the world about his illness, but I choose those that I knew I could trust and could help.

    You should that otherwise you'll get ill with your husband. You need to help yourself first to have the strength to help him!

   Best of luck.

Hi.

I guess he doesn't care about your well being or his.

If he doesn't move out, then you do it. Fair or not, you need to protect yourself and move on with your life and if he doesn't get it then he is in deep trouble...

You are his wife not his mother and if he doesn't get help to safe your marriage and himself then you have to do what's best for you.

People have to be responsible for their choices, ill or not, he didn't lose his brain and he knows he is hurting you so...

Don't do it alone, get family and friends to help you and support you so he sees you are not without protection.

Good luck.

Alex