Trust your brothers instinct.
We met at a Church anniversary, thought an older man would be more mature & sensitive.
Made me study cooking English food and learn about his Bipolar issues. People should be warned, this kind. Being sick should not be used as an excuse, not while he was sane...
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i'm not a doc nor am i therapist nor am i anything at all... seriously
but have you looked up personality disorders?
not saying this dude has one OR that you have one... just asking if you've done any real research on Bipolar or any of the possible additional disorders that may OR may not accompany it
it is one thing to "hear" about everything by the person supposedly struggling with it... it's another to take the actual personal steps to read up on it.. research it... and ask questions elsewhere
there are numerous other disorders that fall in with Bipolar AND then again, many just have old Bipolar and not another thing... it's a hit and miss thing really
some examples are:
anxiety disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, ADHD, ADD, and then there is the personality disorders
also not to minimize or trivialize your anger or your pain, cause you are more in pain than angry... pain turns to anger quite often as a defense thing ya know... they are both very powerful emotions and feelings
but what exactly is it with this guy that keeps you within his circle... cause you "read" so not wanting to be and yet, you so are?
I have read books about BP; Surviving Manic Depression, Madness a bipolar life(by Marya Hornbacher). Also watched documentaries of people who has it so I could help & understan him more. I did study, I did care (really), learn cooking of the food that was good for his health & stuff... But its just this one instance I cannot understan him anymore..from Feb. till August I was patient and said I could never conclude that he's really bad (coz I've never seen him as one), but some part of me says I dont want to be the last person to know... He just lost his job, and I kno it can trigger, I tried to reachout but he was really away... He insisted that he was fine, he even made up stories about me to our friends.. and that long he was rough, maybe thats was the real him..
I cannot believe that the man I've known is not there anymore,with his stories, he was just lying the whole time..
I cannot just forget the issue about him being sick with BP, nor about the things I've learned about it.. but him without conscience is really unforgivable, betrayal of trust is the worst.. I want to make it known that people can be sick but its not a passport for Being BAD...
dear
you are young and I'll let you in on a little of life's secrets
there are really good folks that are good when you meet them and years later, they still are... it's their personality
then there are really bad folks who are bad when you meet them and really never change... it's their personality
then there are the bad folks who pretend to be good folks because it excuses them and/or benefits them to be for the term of time for which they want something... those are the really bad folks and it is their personality
then there are the folks who, in stable times... things not so chaotic in life, are good and sweet and compassionate BUT when faced with chaos, stress, changes, etc.. can flip and flop erractically... these are the ones who have a good personality but with a mood disorder
i asked if you've done any research on personality disorders because it may very well be HIS personality at play... has not a thing to do with Bipolar. Sure, the Bipolar causes the mood issues and the chaos... the highs and the deep lows but, in the in-betweens - because believe or not there are in-betweens... he mistreats you, lies to you, or seemingly has no conscious... then odds are - it's his personality.
In which case... no amount of medication, or "foods", are going to help and even with intensive individual therapy... I mean potentially years of it... it may still not help IF he puts no effort in trying to help himself.
Course... then there are those who use their illness(es), disease(es), or disorder(s)... their physical injuries, disabilities, and the like... as excuses for all their misbehavior, mistreatment of others, and suckering folks into doing and being all for them.
That too... is their personality.
You can medicate a mental disorder... you can't medicate a personality.
Thank you for your inputs & clarification.
The thing is, I really cannot believe that he can be that bad, all those years that he's with me I've never seen a trace of him as a bad person, thats why it was really hard for me to accept what he was saying now.. I really trusted him, and I believed that I really treated him well.. We cannot even lie about small stuffs.. but really after 1 week of vacation and planning things, when he got back to KSA, he simply went harsh that he even disagree about the greetings of having a "nice day".. then after that all our coversations went out of control.
After that I asked for his friends advice if he's just sick at that point or what..
then the end of the story was he wants me to believe that he was bad, and that he lied to me on our vacation.. Its just now that I foundout that he was again terminated at his job, he did not even mention that to me..
I really dont know what went wrong, and if he was really sick or not, but the clear thing now it the personality that he wants me to accept is him being a lier.. What he did was wrong regardles of whatever reasons..
As per the books that I've read, and the forums here, it can still be justified that he might be sick (I've seen that when he was terminated last year)..But when he says he's fine and that he's fronting his attude to almost everyone now (from Feb - Aug) then maybe its the truth... This time I can say its better if his sick, rather than him being this kind of person...
I wonder when will all these questions be answered... I still cannot justify the things that he did.. I wish to know.. I did not see it coming and I cannot connect anything that led to the worst side of him.. I wish He can explain it to me... why...