Does anyone ever feel ignored?

By hsurp Friday, May 07, 2010

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I love Facebook but I hate it. I love people but I hate them. I always seem to feel as though I need attention. I try not to but I want to scream at people to PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!! I feel ignored so many times. Does anyone else feel this way? And if you do, what do you do about it? I don't know why I feel this way. I brought it up to my psychologist and told her that my mother told me (just a few days ago) that I was not paid attention to when I was younger. How do I get past this??? Or is this just a part of Bipolar, Borderline Personality Disorder, ADD/ADHD, etc that I have? I am so confused right now and cannot sleep. Please give me some input if you have any. Thank you!!!

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Eric

5/ 7/10 5:08am

Hey Nutter,

Here is something to give thought too. People 98% of the time have their heads so far up their own a**, that they fail to realize what is going on with someone else and their issues.

The tendencies of trying to find reasons (excuses) of why you are doing or saying something is basically futile. Here is my bit of advice....don't allow yourself to live in the past. I don't care if you were dropped on your head as a baby...today is today and it can be whatever you want it to be unless you hold yourself back with excuses from your past.

Your past is good if you are learning from mistakes that were made...not to explain any inappropriate behavior or lack of anything. I want you to just let go of all the labels docs, family and friends have decided to give you. Everyone has a little of all of these diagnoses.

So today is today! What is it that you would really like to accomplish or do that would give you satisfaction or a great feeling inside? Start off small with things you know you can do and not " I really want to become the president of the USA" I am not saying that you can't accomplish this if you decided to do it....but the time involved in getting to that point would be too long.

Honestly become involved with what others are going through. Lend a ear or a helping hand to someone else. My grandfather used to preach to us that when you get to the point of feeling sorry for yourself and at wits end, take a good look around and you will find someone much worse off than yourself still trying their best.

hsurp

5/ 7/10 6:11am

At first I was like, WTF??? But I see your point. Now is NOW!!! Thank you!

Shelly

5/ 7/10 10:49am

I do have times during the month that I feel ignored. One of my gifts is that of encouragement...I leave people messages on FB, I send my friends and family emails, I talk to people on the phone, send cards etc...always encouraging!

When the bipolar is rearing it's head...I can get into a funky funk...I complain to my husband that no one loves me...no one cares...how can I be so loving to others yet they don't love me back (in the way that I demand!)...

He'll remind me the same thing that Eric said...most people are just caught up in their own stuff, their own life, their own problems...and then he'll ask me...have you let anyone know that you're hurting? need a hug? need a friend to talk to? and I have to admit that no...I expect people to read my mind! HAHAHA!!

Our caring, compassionate, empathetic natures can go overboard at times and because we do anticipate hurt in others, are there for them when someone dies, or are there when a good thing happens too...we figure everyone else is like us...

I've found that those of us with bipolar fall into two camps with lots of tents in between...so selfish and can border on narcissistic or very giving to the point of disappearing because we've giving it all away.

So, I've build myself a support network...my husband just cannot be my all in all but he is my best friend. I have a couple friends with bipolar that just get it; night or day...we support each other trememdously. I have another layer of friends that I can call on for prayer support. Then there are another layer that I can go out with...they don't know all the ins and outs of what I deal with having bipolar but we have fun together. I used to try to make everyone the same...but it just doesn't work that way.

My mom and dad have also modeled healthy behavior to me as they have come to terms with their own bipolar and depression issues. They volunteer and give to others so much. My mom says when we quit 'navel gazing' (looking so much at ourselves, our situation, our yuck) and look up and out...we find out how many hurting people there are...someone who can use something as simple as a smile or a hug. What we give; we reap 100 fold.

God Bless your journey.

Shelly

hsurp

5/ 7/10 10:59am

Thank you so much, Shelley. That makes a lot of sense!

Purple Flamingo

5/11/10 12:43am

I threw this complaint out to my bp family not too long ago. I was so angry that no one left a message, no one "like" anything I had to say (I try not to say too much- somedays I feel 'watched'). I was getting ready to call it quits to Facebook because I was so irate. So, I took a break for a few days. Then I studied the stupid News Posting... yep, everyone posts "whats happening to me" but not a lot of people reply to say "i see whats happening to you." Facebook is all this MeMeMe. I like to put up pictures. I don't write too much down. I read up on other people's lives (their probably more entertaining than mine). And damned if there is a day I'm feeling blue and I check in Fb to see if someone might have given me so much as a glance or a smile. It's a rare find. But remember; there are people out there who will check in on you, cast you a 'like', and maybe a few kind words. Keep your chin up, and only sign in to Fb every three or four days. That's how I'm handling the angry ignoring cold shoulder. Be Good!

hsurp

5/11/10 12:49am

Thanks, Purple F. I feel that I put out more than I get back. Not trying to get things back but would be nice if people did the same as I did. I think I will try that!

Does anyone ever feel ignored?

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