Need advice...Husband just diagnosised with bipolar 2

Talk to him about things other than diagnosis and medication.  Let him seek the help out for himself.  Chances are he's grieving a bit for his "loss of sanity".  As time passes, he'll see a pattern in his life and be able to cope with things a little better.  It's a long long road and when you think things are fine, it can throw you a curveball.  Just love him like you always have and support him the best you can.

Hang in there.

I say be as supportive as possible but take care of yourself as well. I have bipolar II myself and I find myself doing the same things to my loved ones. I feel like they do not deserve this treatment and think that they woulsd all be better off without me. This isn't about me I know, it's just that maybe he feels the same way...the guilt of mistreating your loved ones is sometimes overwhelming. Also speaking from experience...my husband is totally unsupportive and thinks that I should be able to "put this aside for the family's sake." This causes great depression for me. It is crucial for us to have support from our loved ones because we are just as confused about all of this as you are and though it seems like we push everybody away in reality we need you. Hope this helps.

Well I have had a very similar experience with my life, I am Bipolar 1 and was on depekote for a while. Now im on a bunch of other meds. I left my wife after 18 years "because I could not be with her". Unfortunatly there was another woman in my life at the time, so you are lucky there.

I said the same things he did, cruel mean things that really werent true, blamed my wife for all of our problems as well as mine. I moved out to live with the other woman and told my wife I was working on coming back. Then I did the same thing to the other woman. My experience is I am always running from or running to people that love me. Then I test them to make sure that they actually do love me. Problem is that becomes a self-fullfiling prophacy. They will leave, if you test them too much.

The only thing that got me back with my wife was the fear of her moving on, not needing me, not waiting for me. My suggestion is, start to move on. Understand that you cannot change his mind or change the way he acts by asking. You need to act to get him to change his thought processes.

He is not doing this deliberatly, it is a compulsion. The fear of abandonment is unbearable. If you hang on to him you will most likely lose him. Try to enjoy life and let him see you doing it. That will make the difference.

pls read :Bipolar Disorder Might Be Overdiagnosed - Mental Health Disorders ...-

pls also think about the type of ssri drugs , it might case his disiorder behave....

I hope my information can help .........

About all you can do is be there for him and be a good listener. Respect his space.

Be understanding-I know it is difficult.  If he asks you to go to his Psych appointments with him do so-or social worker. Just don't be pushing for a when will we get back together. He will let you know when the time is right for him.  if your the praying kind, pray for the patience etc. to help you and he get through this.

I am BP 1 & 2- I went throught the same type of thing when I was married to my ex-husband. We were married for 11 years at the time.  Instead of people giving me my space to work things through with the professionals as well as within myself-I had loved ones hovering continually and My ex and I ended up divorced.  I am remarried and have been for 13 years. We have a son with multiple disabilities including Asperger & Bipolar amongst others and we have to do the same thing with him at times or he will end up off the deep end again.  He was hospitalized 4 times for breakdowns by 11 yrs old.

My husband had been misdiagnosed first with "Adjustment Disorder" after a series of traumas in our life, then he was diagnosed with depression.  We didn't get the accurate diagnosis of Bipolar II until he had a major blowout manic episode.  It was while he was hospitalized in a state mental hospital that we found out that the antidepressant he was on (Cymbalta) most likely caused the manic episode. 

Since his accurate diagnosis, he was been taking Depakote and now, over a year later, he is doing terrific.  He has not had any major struggles with depression and has had no more manic episodes. 

We have been married 18 years and my advice is to find friends and family that can be understanding and supportive.  My husband worked in a field where it has been difficult for him to be placed back to work with his Bipolar diagnosis.  That has more to do with other's misperceptions and lack of education about mental illnesses.  Frankly, he is the healthiest (mentally and emotionally) than I have seen him in about 4 years. 

After over a year of not working he has just been hired for a job that is below his educational background and work experience, but he is glad to have an opportunity to work and it has helped his self-esteem to have a business interested in him. 

My husband is proactive in his wellness by seeing a counselor once a month, seeing his psychiatrist, playing on a softball league, and never ever going off his Depakote. 

Good luck to you!

First of all, hang in there, take it slow, one day at a time. If things get too intense, don't take it personal, don't let it escalate, step outside and go for a walk to clear your head. Give your husband the space he needs and take the space you need to. Take a break from it now and then. You will feel refreshed and he will feel better knowing that you aren't letting your life totally revolve around his bipolar. Bipolar people already feel intense guilt and depression and the guilt of knowing they're dragging down or stressing out the one person they love most in this world can make them so overwhelmed that they'll want you to leave them. They'll think it's noble to suggest divorce because if they see you so negatively affected by them they'll want to set you free. So remember to stay calm. You're not a Dr., you don't have to cure him or analyze him, you're his wife, so you just need to love him. 

You're a woman so you'll have the urge to do everything and fix him and make things perfect, but you can't so don't put that stress on yourself. They'll be good days and bad days and sometimes he might not want to think about his bipolar, so let it go for that day. 

You've been married 20 years, so you've been doing something right to make it this far! Way to go!

I suggest the following books as they were helpful to me: The Natural Medicine Guide to Bipolar Disorder (The Healthy Mind Guides) by Stephanie Marohn, Loving Someone With Bipolar Disorder by Julie A. Fast and John D. Preston, and this one your husband might enjoy because he will probably relate to it and it magnifies the benefits of bipolar and how to use the differences in a positive way: The Bipolar Advantage by Tom Wootton. 

Also, I suggest reading the Bible. The Psalms and Proverbs will especially be helpful. Pray as much as you need to. I used to basically pray all day long and that gave me strength and patience. I felt support from God when I did not feel support from my husband, and I felt understood by God that he saw everything I was going through when no else did. 

"Do not be anxious over anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication along with thanksgiving let your petitions be known to God; and the peace of God that excels all thought will guard your hearts and your mental powers.."  Philippians 4:6,7

Psalms 34:18, 55:22

I hope that information is helpful. All the best to you and your family!

Warm love. 

***Dear I really feel for you...I have been dealing with depression since childhood..I'm now 50 yrs. young, and I have been on bipolar, anxiety & depression medicines for over 13 yrs...when there are times my meds no longer work (which would feel like I was living in hell on earth) and needed  to be switched to another medication, I get irritable, anxious, and withdraw from everyone. I try to make myself sleep, or fake like I'm sleep so no one will bother me..All I can say is Pray for Him, and also for You to have strength thru it all..All I needed thru my rough spells is people who love me, understood & they had to have patience..There are many books out there, but the internet is such a great source for finding out answers to ANY question, try it...I hope all works out very soon for you & family..Blessings***

I will ask my husband to write you and share how he has dealt with me for the last 30 years. It is not easy but I know he needs you.

Kekelami

Your in a tough spot and it can’t be easy not knowing where you stand each day. The one point I have yet to see shared is the idea that we leave in order so that to not put the other through it. Sometimes we do leave thinking that it would be easier on the other person…that being you, because we feel it would place too much of a burden on the other. It’s not rational behavior but part of the illness. What we don’t realize is that it throws the other into total chaos just adding more problems.

 I never have bought into the idea of using the illness as an excuse to cheat on the other…you did have a choice. The fact that he moved home is a positive one. He is looking for help from his parent’s to get in through this instead of you. Have you had a sit down with his parents to find out where they stand in all of this and showing your desire to help? It can’t hurt to have them on your side to sway their sons thinking that it is his wife/partner that needs to as a couple get through this.

Lastly…if you guys have been having marital problems for awhile…this may not even have anything to do with the illness at all. The only thing that might help is marriage counseling and that can only happen if he is willing.

Read everything you can get your hands on, look for funding, and for Medical Study Programs he can benefit from....join every help group you can find... look or participate in funding for Bioplar/Schzophrenia and other mental disease.  It is a mental disease.  Never give up hope  never stop praying and keep yourself safe and strong. 

Read everything you can get your hands on, look for funding, and for Medical Study Programs he can benefit from....join every help group you can find... look or participate in funding for Bioplar/Schzophrenia and other mental disease.  It is a mental disease.  Never give up hope  never stop praying and keep yourself safe and strong. 

my husband has this to, yhey finally put him on seroquel after over 20 years of problems and that really works well, it is to treat (scitso) but works very well for bipolar

I have bipolar 2. I take zyprexa and celexa. I have a pretty ok life but the minute that i feel stressed, pressured i just get up and leave. i go for a ride and relax. my addiction is drama. i have none in my life because i cant afford to have any on a regular basis but i go look for it in small doses. i seek out people in trouble men mostly and just be around them to get a taste of the dysfunctionality that surrounds them. i have 2 kids and i need to be even keel most of the time. it is a challenge in a big way. getting that high and seeking out trouble... i am cogniscient that i am bipolar so i check myself.. what i have most trouble with is my anxiety that rises and rears it ugly head at the most inopportune moments... at school, in class or at work in a meeting. and all i can feel is that i need to leave. i breath but sometimes i do have to leave and just let it go..... be patient with yourself and not to hard either... many partners feel out of control and helpless... it is alot like we feel ourselves... what u can do i take care of yourself and breath.... be around people who know u and u trust..

I have bipolar 2. I take zyprexa and celexa. I have a pretty ok life but the minute that i feel stressed, pressured i just get up and leave. i go for a ride and relax. my addiction is drama. i have none in my life because i cant afford to have any on a regular basis but i go look for it in small doses. i seek out people in trouble men mostly and just be around them to get a taste of the dysfunctionality that surrounds them. i have 2 kids and i need to be even keel most of the time. it is a challenge in a big way. getting that high and seeking out trouble... i am cogniscient that i am bipolar so i check myself.. what i have most trouble with is my anxiety that rises and rears it ugly head at the most inopportune moments... at school, in class or at work in a meeting. and all i can feel is that i need to leave. i breath but sometimes i do have to leave and just let it go..... be patient with yourself and not to hard either... many partners feel out of control and helpless... it is alot like we feel ourselves... what u can do i take care of yourself and breath.... be around people who know u and u trust..

the best help for me was exercise, it might seem ridiculous but its true. A well structured exercise program does wonders for your self esteem as you see yourself & feel yourself feel better from the inside. I am almost 49, Bipolar & I am totally transformed. Now I function normally with the help of medication, which has reduced from 4 lots of different medications (about 12 tablets a day) to now I take only one a day. It has transformed my life so much that I have gone from working in a very stressful job which I lost due to my illness to discovering exercise & now I am well & I am now a qualified Personal Trainer.

Your dedication to your husband is both beautiful & critical, my illness allowed me to destroy my marriage & it is the greatest regret of my life. If you still love him always let him know, & if you can encourage him to get fit he will feel better about himself and maybe worthy of you. good luck Shane

Wow, I am amazed by your loyalty and it is with genuine appreciation I say that you truly understand what "in sickness and in health" means.  I suffer from Bipolar I disorder.  It has been difficult for my husband at times.  The greatest help has come from his wllingness to accept me and love me as I am in each moment.  It sounds like you are doing that without judgement.  I encourage you to get the book "An Unquiet Mind" by Kay Jamison. 

Your story gave me hope. 

Lizzie 

John Mcmanamy's book living with Depression and Bipolar Disorder is the best.  A MUST read for you,....and anyone suffering with the disorder.  Best of luck.