Hi Everyone,



Since my first writing here, concerning my break from medication and return to normality I have received numerous questions and replies.

Being so, I'm writing for those who are still looking for hope.

I'm still fine... yes. The anniversary of my "wellbeing" is Jan 1... I'm going for 2 years without any medication. Those who have read some of my posts will know that I didn't just stop the meds on the 1st one shot but it was the time that I was ready to make the decision towards being happy. I still see a psychologist from time to time (and so should everyone, crazy or not). I visit my physiatrist once a year and the rest is stuff you read in every magazine and Oprah tells us over and over. There really isn't a catch. It's like people who think there is some big secret to losing weight and they spend all their time trying to unravel it. Eat less = lose weight. Love yourself = being happy. I heard this all the time and somehow I thought there was an "easier" way. Eat right, exercise, be productive (not busy), RELAX life is not that serious, it can actually be very funny if you get a different angle on it. Not to say you should laugh away everything but sometimes I'll really make too much of something. What helps for me is when some thought starts taunting me, you know that little feeling that something’s not right, I leave it, I put it on ice for a week or so. I take note of it but I try not to analyze or fix it right away. 90% of the time by the end of the week I can't even remember what it was. Granted there will be something new tugging at me but hey... that's next week’s problem. I think it might be about discerning between emotions and actual thoughts and facts. I have come to be very wary of emotions; they are not always what they seem. I try to reserve that emotional energy for certain times. Sitting still and being grateful I will feel joy. Obviously it's kind of hard because I still lose it when I get angry, which leads to sad and then two days of feeling a bit down after a heavy argument.

What helps me greatly is being with some one who is very rational. When I bounce my ideas and insecurities off him I quickly realize that I’m reacting out of an unjustified emotion. Things like self pity and self loathing have absolutely no positive value.

The fact however that Bipolar is a disease that can be latent for years is still there to haunt me a bit but, trying to look on the bright side of this, it keeps me in line. Like a sergeant/general giving me the eye and telling me to shape up or ship out.

That’s all for now, just wanted to let you know, happiness is always is out there and in there, just keep looking and you will find it.

Have a great day!
Jeanine