Triumph - and the Letdown

By TMarie Tuesday, May 27, 2008

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Today I am tired. No - I am exhausted. And the letdown that I'm feeling - I expected it would come. It would come for anyone when the party's over and your child has already moved out.

But it makes me feel uneasy nonetheless - what if it's not just a little letdown? What if it's the beginnings of depression, back once again. What if...

And so I will rest today - but I will also go outside and putter about a little bit in the sun. I'll finish this post - but won't stay on the computer after that. I won't take take on paying the bills - but I will pick up my prescriptions from the pharmacy.

And tomorrow I will attend my support group, whether I think I need it or not.

Could it be Summertime SAD?

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Comments (6) | Add comment

Amy T

5/27/08 8:31pm

I know it seems silly to say and it's hard to do right now, but keep your chin up. I always try to tell myself that tomorrow is coming, and hopefully you will feel better. It makes me feel better just knowing that this site is out here and you can vent, share thoughts, and get encouragement. Good luck!

TMarie

5/27/08 9:27pm

Thank you, Amy T. I appreciate your kind words - they're not silly at all. I needed the reminder.

otterlo

6/ 1/08 10:02am

some time we just need to do things and make our lives a verb and how great you ask for help. I think what you did was grand and I sincerely hope you do not sink into a depression again (I know how that feels)......good luck!

TMarie

6/ 1/08 3:45pm

Thanks so much, Otterlo. It has continued to be a difficult week, but after 4 days of depression, worse each day, it is starting to lift. Trying to just take today as it comes. Part of the relief of diagnosis and knowledge is that now I have my feelings in better perspective; I know they can get overblown, and I have better tools for dealing with it and learning patience. So while the depression was miserable, this time I was maybe a little bit better about not looking ahead and seeing only doom. A little.

I'm sorry you struggle with depression too - I hope that you have found resources there for support. Every person is different and benefits from different things. But I'm lucky and glad that I have group each week, and therapy every few weeks. It has been invaluable to hear other people's stories of depression and bipolar, and talk if I need to.

I hope you are well.

Anonymous

6/ 4/08 10:23am

WOW!!! Very inspiring from a supporters view. I hope the depression lifts quickly. Good for you to ask your friends for help. What would we do without our girlfriends?

Even from someone without bp, parties like these make me anxious. It is all about progress, and you recognize the progress!!

TMarie

6/ 5/08 9:24am

Oh, I'm so glad this was helpful to you. Every person is different but I hope that the person you support is on a good path towards wellness. There is hope! There are more and more resources out there as more is understood about the bipolar spectrum.

Myself, I'm finding that I tend to rapid cycle...depression has now lifted (thanks for your well wishes, btw) and now I've been repeating to myself, "Whoa there, missy..." :) I'm thinking that going overboard with the party has kicked off the pendulum again, but it's slowing down already.

Early recognition of the signs of elevation and over-stimulation is huge. It's a big switch to slow yourself down at those signs, when all your life you've answered to them, enjoyed them, making up for the doldrums of depression suffered more often than not. I'm thankful that I've been given the motivation (fear, love of my family, and finally, truly loving myself) to work on making the change.

Yeah - girlfriends are the best. :)

Triumph - and the Letdown

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