I am the one who needed an involved caregiver for a few years.  When I was really ill and unable to take care of myself.  But you're right.  As a person enters recovery, the duties of the caregiver have to change too.  A little "letting go" is needed.  In fact, is may be necessary in order to further recovery.  I know I extended my illness for a while, even when I knew I was getting better, because I had come to depend on others: family, therapist, hospital staff.  It was so easy to let them step in and take care of me.  But I really, really needed to be encouraged to take care of myself.  And live independently.  I had to finally break away from my selfishness by reminding myself and my parents that they wouldn't be around to meet my needs forever.  It was time for me to be helping them, not the other way around.  Now, my dad has died and my mother is turning 83 this month and is recovering from a broken hip.  I'm glad I am already on my own two feet and able to return some of the caregiving that they lovingly gave me.

Donna