Can it also manifest itself in insomnia?  I take Klonopin at night to help me sleep -- otherwise, anxiety and replaying things in my mind take over.  I also have "restless legs syndrome" at night, but that is from taking Zyprexa for 13 years (or so my pdoc says.)  RLS may not be caused by anxiety, yet it becomes a source for anxiety because it too keeps me from getting comfortable enough to sleep.

Jerry Kennard, Health Guide

1/ 9/11 1:56pm

Hi Donna,

 

Yes anxiety certainly keeps people awake at night and ruminations, such as you describe, often seem to be amplified and worsened during quiet times when then are no distractions. Have you tried any techniques to cope with these or have you learned to live with them?

I was diagnosed with bipolar a little over a year ago. Before that I knew I had several periods of depression...some clinical (only one that was treated with meds)...since I was a teen. I figured out how to deal with any fear or anxiety with biofeedback and self talk through the course of my life. It was when I couldn't will myself to be calm and peaceful anymore in the midst of the storms in and around me, with almost anything being a trigger for the racing heartbeat, swirling mind, headaches, body aches, and extreme variations of body temps that I got so worn out. I went to the doc and was diagnosed. My copeability had been lost. I didn't realize that the 3 years prior to diagnosis were mostly filled with hypomania and that's why I felt so good most of the time. Right after diagnosis, I started down the slippery slope to suicidal depression...

With psychotherapy, meds and a greater understanding of the disease of bipolar, I am able to know when I'm heading into an episode. I can't stop it...frustrates me to no end...but I do know that it will be fairly short lived even though in the midst of it, it seems like it will be forever. I've learned that I just have to hang on and I will come out the other end. I have wonderful support from my family and lots of friends.

The anxiety that I experience is the beginning of an episode. I can go from being excited about something into mania pretty rapidly. It frustrates me that I can't let myself get too excited or exuberant...I miss the really happy times...if I don't temper it...episode here I come.

My hormone cycle is a huge trigger. Even though I know it, prepare for it, circle the dates of ovulation and menstruation on the calendar, it still takes me by surprise that anything else that even smells like stress surrounding these times can put me over the edge.

Lack of sleep, mostly interrupted sleep, is also a huge trigger no matter what time of the month. It's hard work (a second job as Julie Fast wrote in her latest column in bp magazine) to manage bipolar.

I am trying not to get frustrated with myself. To not look at the me of the past and compare. I try not to look to far ahead and really try to live in the moment or the day. I really like the latest me better...I no longer go through life whirling around involved in so many things that I didn't have time to breathe much less relax. I've learned to enjoy and savor this time of my life. To know I don't have to live up to 'their' expectations or my own expectations of perfection. I can be Shelly...who is mostly a loner person...who needs lots of time to recoup from social situations...who likes the occasional time out with friends...but has become content with just being.

Because of my hypersensitivity, I can no longer tolerate extended times of stimulation of sights, sounds, people, etc...that can put me over the edge with the physical ramifications of anxiety and trigger an episode also. My social life has been curtailed immensely.

I will get better at figuring all of this out and living with it. It sometimes still seems like a bad excuse. I am still dealing with the self-stigma some of the time.

I know with time, patience and ultimate love and kindness of myself, I will be more successful in accepting that bipolar is part of me, and that's ok.

God Bless,

Shelly

Donna-1

1/10/11 11:14am

Don't let go of the hope that things will get better for you, too.  They did for me.  For years I hoped and prayed and finally decided, "Well, this is as good as it gets."  But I was wrong.  It took a while, but the kinks worked themselves out and I'm functioning at about 85% right now, which is wonderful.  It used to be about 10% on a good day.

 

It does help a lot to be as stress-free as possible and to take note of the "precursor" symptoms that mean an episode is coming for you.  Insomnia has always been a part of my mental health issues, even though I have taken meds to help me sleep for years.  I don't think I am dependent on them in a bad way, I just must ensure that I get a good night's sleep or here comes trouble!