Antonio Banderas as the character Rafe in a movie with Liam Neeson says to Neeson's character at one point : I have the problem of seeing things as more beautiful than they truly are. That struck a chord with me. I don't see the triggers or the stressors because I deny that I am stressed "I'm fine" when my arrogant, condescending boss asks me how I am. I am always "fine" even when I am not. And it take less and less to make me realize how really "un-fine" I am. I had a melt down this morning trying to get ready to talk to my other boss about my schedule. I don't want him to think I can't handle the job. But constantly changing my schedule to accomodate the new hire is driving me into a depression. Talking to him is a stressor, not talking to him is again saying "Oh everything is just fine" when it is not. I totaly believe in kindling, I just don't know how to stop telling myself I'm fine. If I stop, maybe I can see what triggers the depression.
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Thank you. The kindling effect is, unfortunately, one reason why I hesitate to take on any major stressor...for fear of the depression being triggered again. Not that I should let it stand in my way or keep me from doing anything I really want to do. But I do have to take it into consideration.
Hi Donna,
I think people under-estimate the effects of stress hugely, especially the cumulative effects. The idea of thriving on stress only makes sense if you don't find the circumstances 'stressful'. One persons stress isn't the same for someone else. You clearly know the type of thing that has a negative effect on you and, if we follow the kindling model, it seems that your tolerance threshold won't be as high next time around. So very wise to steer clear! Thanks again for your comments.