Stress, the Economy & the Cost to Friends

My husband's plans have changed in that he was planning to retire in the near future but his 401K took a major hit so retirement is now not possible.  His company has frozen raises.  His company is not doing well & they have the option of changing the medical benefits at any time without notice if their situation becomes dire, which is a major concern for me.  Even though the mental health insurance coverage is not great, it does help some. 

If it is cut even further, I will not be able to take the medications prescribed for me nor continue with my indiviual therapy (get some reimbursement for, but only a limited # of sessions, then I have to pay the full amount out of pocket) & dialectical behavioral therapy (which I am already paying out of pocket for).  Actually, I should say my husband is paying for since I only work part-time & hardly make enough money to pay for my mental health care.

Since I had a serious relapse a couple years ago with a suicide attempt and the medications & therapies seem to be giving me some relief, I am loathe to dicontinue them.  My mother had bipolar & did die by suicide.

Also, since I have been turned down by 5 different companies when trying to get long-term nursing care insurance it looks like we will have to save up our own money to pay for that if I need to be put into a facility.  My husband was able to get the insurance easily since he has no mental health issues.

My husband retired in 2006.  We had a nice IRA that should have seen us through our older years with no problem.  Woulda Coulda Shoulda.

I haven't been able to make our truck and 5th wheel payments for the last two months...talk about stress, and worry.  We've had to touch our ira three times just this year.  Now we are having to touch it again.  Just to be able to catch up on the truck and 5th wheel.

Why not just sell them...LOL no one is buying, or they want to pay less than we owe on them.  Besides, if things really get bad...we have them to fall back on.  To live in that is.

The phone rings, and I am to afraid to answer.  So I just ignore it all day long, each and everyday.  No wonder I am having trouble sleeping.  Thank goodness for sleeping pills.

I pay the bills, and I have done so well since our bankrupcy back in 1996.  We have no credit cards since 1996.  If we can't pay cash, it doesn't get bought.  So can you imagne the blow it has been to me for not being able to pay all our bills suddenly.  We only have Electic, Cell phone, Qwest bundle, and Truck and Trailer and insurance.  Then we have way more month than money.

We have some medical bills that I can't pay...it's them or food..which should I pick?  Life is getting more and more stressful.  It's sad that we have to choose one over another.

I can't go from Arizona to Oregon to visit my grandsons, tickets just cost to much.  Driving is just out of the question, diesel is way to expensive.

Are we in an economic slump?  This family is...and there is only me and my husband.

I'm actually glad you posted this, right behind John's about the lifestyle changes that professionals just insist that if we were to get off our "biscuits" and make - our Bipolar wouldn't be so gosh darn bad.  When you have folks facing literal day to day survival, it's hard to imagine going to play water volleyball or moving out of your drug infested trailer park to a nice surburban apartment.  Or, to buy veggies and fruit that are more expensive now due to the economy than say a cheeseburger that will sit in your stomach longer.

I had a car wreck in 2007.  I was supposed to have died, didn't.

I went nearly 8 months - no job, no income, and my family paying my Cobra.  I could barely pay the mortgage, lights, phone, and meds needed for my injuries - forget Bipolar and Anxiety meds.

I finally got a part-time job.  Didn't pay much but better than zero.  No insurance and still the medical injuries lingered with more surgeries, Bipolar lingered, and husband up and left me for another woman (one of many over the years).

Lost 2 jobs in 2008, no insurance, medical surgeries again, medical injuries linger, Bipolar lingers, no job, little to no income.  On my own with a young child.  Barely making ends meet cause there is more month than money and getting way behind as each month crept.

Now - 2009.  No job still, no insurance, no meds outside the one for the Seizures I developed after the car wreck and my anti-anxiety med which helps the Seizures as well.  Divorcing abusive adulterous husband after 20 years but I had to file it and it has taken all my savings but worth it to be legally untied from him.

I get unemployment but from 2007 onward - I didn't earn much so unemployment is low BUT just over the maximum to qualify for Medicaid or Food Stamps in my state so... no med insurance, no med programs, no food stamps for me and my child.  Just little unemployment and little child support.

So I sit and try each week to find a job that isn't there to find cause thousands more in my area are trying for the same job.  I have to pick and choose each week as to what to buy at the food store so that I know I can pay the electric bill and the mortgage for the month.  I can barely pay for the Seizure med and may have to borrow money from relatives to just get that this month.

I worked for the last 5 years as an administrative assistant/records specialist for 2 local MH agencies.  I am a client for 1 of them yet haven't returned since February because I can't pay my % of the sliding scale.  I couldn't pay my percentage of the scale for DBT neither so, had to drop that and the Neurologist for the Seizures?  Won't be seeing her anytime soon neither.

Now tell me again about developing a healthy stress free environment, how I lack incentive to take meds, how I fear change and find it hard, how to create a more positive well being.  What skills I've learned over many years of therapy & what few months of DBT I am using to get me through these months. 

What's helping me get through each day, is simply credited to God's grace & mercy.