Last night I was sitting and reflecting on years past.  I do this from time to time.  I really do live too much inside my head.  I know this to be true when the voices in there talk back to me and we discuss whatever the topic of conversation is between myself and the 2.  I am a nutter, remember?  Just play along as though it is all okay.

Anyway...  4 years ago was 2006 and I had been through my last Psych IP that past Spring.  It was a most hideous one, by the way - very frightening actually. 

I was also finally diagnosed with Bipolar after oh so many years of mis-diagnosis.  I had been given the proper standard bag of pills and had taken them for several months, lost a good job because of it all, gained a considerable amount of weight, went through a huge family upheaval because of my hospitalization and diagnosis and vegatating medications and loss of income due to loss of job.

I then quit all but 2 of the meds, lost some of the weight, settled down for I had no job to stress me out, and then found another job for which I was finally coming into my own on.

3 years ago, it was 2007.  During the year I had hit 2 trees head on without braking at 45mph and was to have died, but didn't.  It wasn't "on purpose" though some points later, I still wish I had died.  No, a medical quirk had me black out unexpectedly.  Go figure.

Laid in a hospital bed for a month with a bedpan for a commode and IVs everywhere and places they shouldn't really be.  A drain pipe there, a catheter inserted here, stitches and staples everywhere, and a badly mangled left foot with a badly sprained right foot.

I spent endless months in rehab recuperating.  Bedside commode for a commode.  Lots of intensive occupational and physical therapy.  Subsequent surgeries, learning to walk again, and oh the pain and panic attacks and mood swings a swinging and abounding.

I also lost my wonderful job, lost my income, nearly lost my life, and started developing seizure spells due to a closed head injury sustained in said wreck... this time 3 years ago.  I also lost my aunt Audrey and my stepfather Henry and my husband had found his latest fling to fling with while I was laid up.

2 years ago, it was 2008.  During the year I had went through yet another round of hospitalizations for medical surgeries.  More intensive physical therapy for the badly arthritic left foot.  Gained and lost 2 jobs. 

Husband moved in with the last fling he acquired while working at WalMart leaving me at home with our daughter and even less income and I had my first real serious episode of Dissociation (have brief episodes off and on but this was the first prolonged one)... cause I barely remembered December of 2008 except I got laid off again.  Seriously... December 2008 is an absolute blur except the day they told me I was laid off.