Returning to work after a long hiatus

By Tabby Tuesday, November 03, 2009

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It certainly helps if it is a job one actually doesn't mind going to or at least one where you do not have to beat yourself up each morning in order to get up and get dressed for. A job where one doesn't sob uncontrollably on the way there, on the way home, and even in the corridors.

Working a job that is potentially episode triggering and struggling with attempting to manage a serious mental illness like Bipolar on a daily basis... is not a simple or easy thing to balance, much less actually do.

Oh well, here I go again....

behind the mask

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nonethewiser

11/ 4/09 12:33am

Tabby...If anyone can succeed, it's you! I am so excited for you, and you will be in my thoughts and Prayers. Take it one day at a time, and lots of deep breaths.

tabby

11/ 4/09 11:03pm

thanks

many deep breaths these last 3 days... the first day I caught myself not breathing due to a panic attack that hit me suddenly.. got all lightheaded and tingly... hyperventilated I guess

as I've always mentioned here... change, even good change, can be quite stressful and often times.. triggering

alxv

11/ 4/09 4:02am

Dear Tabby,

My heart is with you and I'm sure you will be able to manage the stress if you don't let them stress you...

I'm sure that's temporary and you will not stop looking for another job that you'll like more, or feel more comfortable with.

Hey, don't forget we BPs are all strong and very resourceful people.

We are here for you all the way dear Tabby, stay strong and take a deep breath it's just the 1^st impact them it will get better I promise.

Group hug to you,

Alex

tabby

11/ 4/09 10:58pm

thanks alxv

one sure thing has occured that i knew likely would happen - and just within the first 2 days as well (was hoping it would hold off a bit longer)

me mild hypomania over the last few weeks, me thinks has... well... sped up a wee tiny bit to mild mania

since yesterday morning I've noticed a "shifting" and a "speeding" up of energy, thoughts, and whatnot - also focus and concentration are crapping out and going everywhere but where they need to be - and brain is buzzing a wee bit. I also have this increased need to do, to be, and to move...

I'm figuring it's all due to the stimulation and overwhelming reintroduction to hordes of new people, lights, routine structure, and activity

me hoping it's just me transitioning and i'll just settle back down soon and not spiral down into a deep darkness like I'm likened to do after a change has settled on me

this is what happens when you are highly med sensitive and unable to have full advantage of meds or full dosing of the meds you do have... just one day at a time

alxv

11/ 5/09 4:30am

Hi Tabby.

It is where we have to use all our tools and be as focused as we possible can in this situation.

My 1^st technique is to face my fears rationally and asking each one of them: SO WHAT?

2nd; Then when I think about meeting new people that I have no wish to meet or be with everyday at work, I just resume it to: I don't care about them and there for they mean nothing for me and I'll just be myself showing them no fear or intimidation because I own myself and nobody else.

Just be polite and nice but never soft to them.

3^rd; I make sure I know the reason I want to work there, even though I don't want to, and the reason is: I'm like a mercenary, I do this for the money, I execute my function at work to get my money and pay for whatever I need with no feelings about it or no connection with it.

4^th, I have to have a goal for the end of the day after work. Weather it's a hobby, taking caring of a child or buying my favorite treat, but I need to have that as my most important thing to do when I wake up in the morning. I'll give my 110% at work but to relieve the tension I have to keep this goal in the back of my head to keep me in balance and less focused on my fears of anything that may destabilized me.

Oh, and yes having fresh money as a reward for our effort is the best thing we get from it.

Alex

Returning to work after a long hiatus

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