My 14 yr old nephew is staying with me for two weeks and I want to explain bipolar to him in a way he can understand. Unfortunatly my Dad (his guardian) thinks it's just high's and lows like everyone else and that if I got rid of the stressors in my life I'd be fine (did I mention that my Dad studies psychology over 50 yrs ago?)
My nephew does not understand, and I find myself at a loss when I try to talk to him. Any suggestions?
Hi I have a 13 year old who has been living with bipolar I as long as I have. We (husband and I) have tried to be totally upfront with her (age appropriate of course) and she is now very well versed on bipolar and how it effects people. If I was talking to a 14 year old about this (especially one who has been a little misinformed!) I would start out telling them that this is an illness, it means that certain "chemicals" in the brain don't do what they are supposed to all the time, and that this results in mood changes depending on which "chemical" is on the blink at that time. It is important that the child knows its an illness and not just a "moody" person thing - just like diabetes is an illness (I find that making a comparison with something more familiar helps - something chronic that does not go away but is not too scary). Then explain that you take medications to help regulate the brain just like diabetics take insulin. Don't go too far into the difference between high and low, just that it's an illness and not something to be scared of. At that point i'd stop because the average 14 year old's attention span is not incredibly long (unless they are playing Nintendo!) and you don't want to bombard him with facts and figures etc. If he does show more interest maybe print out an interesting share post from here or an article with a more in-depth explanation.
The one thing not to do is to scare him or make him think that this is going to "happen" while he's staying with you. Explain that the meds help you really well and then good luck with the visit.
Oh and as for bringing up the issue just be really casual about it because if you are really serious it will scare the pants off him. Just say something like "I don't know if you heard but I have this illness called bipolar..." - link with a celebrity perhaps??). If he mentions your father's expertise you can say this is not his speciality - that way you don't put him down and get your point across.
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My daughter learned some of it via her school, through her Health class.
When she was little... I explained it as "momma sometimes gets really really sick with a lot of sadness and sometimes a lot of crying. When I have this, it doesn't last very long but it make Momma very sick when it happens... like when you (my daughter) have a bad cold or a bad sore tummy or throat. It hurts really bad, you don't feel really good, and it lasts a while but then everything gets better. Until then, momma is very sad or very fussy or just can't really get up and go and do things as well. So, we have to wait until Momma feels better and has more energy."
She named it "sad sick". Course, she was only 5 but she understood what sad sick meant. To her, I was sick with sadness and when I "felt" better... we had more fun and happier days and momma is silly and giggly and laughing all the time.
She is now 15 and she still... when she picks up on my depressive cycles... calls it "sad sick" and she understands that it is not something I can necessarily control or manage, in full. That it is nothing that is her doing. That it is a cycle and she and I just have to plow through it best we can, till the "up" starts.