Impulsive

I used to daydream, while riding/driving of taking off my seatbelt, opening the door and jumping out. The impulse/image would be so strong that I would grasp my hands tight or grip my arms so that I would not undo my seatbelt. I never thought I actually do it, but I wondered what it would be like. I never thought much about after impact, just jumping out, especially on really steep roads.

Before I go on, let me say two things. One, I would never commit suicide. I am not a coward, and no one will ever have to tell my family that I did not love them enough to simply go on living. Two, I had my husband hide our gun. I do not know where it is, and it will stay hid till I am more stable.

Ok, so it has been a few years since I've had one of those impulsive... daydreams. But I had one last week. So strong I had to hug my arms to me and dig my nails in. I would no way ever do it... but it was so sudden, to impulsive. I don't know if I should mention it to my doc or not. I so do not want to be put impatient,I mean, I would never do it... but it worried me that it even happened. If I mention it, will they throw me in a hospital till they deep I'm fixed, or actually help me?