Butcher Knives???

I feel at this point that she has gone beyond the point of needing to get in and see a therapist and psychiatrist. Kids showing anger and outbursts are pretty much the norm in most households....but sitting outside the bedroom door with butcher knives goes well beyond that.

So here is my suggestion....if not brought into check right now, she is going to end up hurting herself or someone else. If dad is in denial, then take him out of the equation and talk with her therapist and psychiatrist about the above incidents. If she has bipolar 1....then she must already be in the system.

2....the next time she has one of these breaking windows or sitting outside the bedroom with knives or shows any violence toward others...have the phone ready and dial 911 and have her picked up for an evaluation at one of your local acute mental health hospitals.

This needs to be nipped in the butt now before someone really get hurt or killed....have dad evaluated too while your at it if he for some god forsaken reason thinks this is normal.

First, take care of yourself and your husband depending on just how much you care about him.  You will not be of any use to your daughter if she manages to hurt (or kill) you or someone else.  Please realize right now that you cannot help her yourself.  She needs professional help.

I am 19.  I was officially diagnosed with BP when I was 17 but I have suffered from SEVERE mood swings all of my life.  I was the poster child for violent aggression.  I put my fist right through a double paned bay window and I kicked a door off it's hinges.  Sometimes I'd remember what I did but most times I would become so enraged that I didn't remember anything afterwards.  When I punched the glass out of the window my Mom called 911 ... it was the first of what would become many calls to emergency services.  Before the police arrived, I got into my car and took off.  I tried to kill myself that night.  I wanted to die.  I hated myself and my life.  Everything was out of control. 

My Mom got me into a program for teens in crisis and that's where I first learned about mental illness and got my first does of medication along with intensive one-on-one therapy and family counseling.  I've been thought a lot ... a year ago I had another suicide attempt that put me in the hospital for 72 hours.  I thought I'd never find my way to feeling balanced.  I thought my world would never have color again.

A year and a half later I am a different person.  I still have issues but I can handle them now.  Through therapy I've learned coping skills that help me keep things in perspective.  I still have lots of problems dealing with stressful situations - like college, but my Mom is still firmly planted by my side.  I would not be here today - feeling balanced and well, if it hadn't been for my Mom.  I didn't always appreciate her.  In fact, I've said I HATE YOU more times then I care to admit, but that's when I was crazy and unstable. 

Get your daughter help.  Call 911 if she's a danger to herself or to you.  Call your local hospital and ask them about programs they offer for mental health issues.  Call your insurance company and get names of psychiatric doctors and programs.  Get her in quickly for an evaluation.  She deserves all that your medical plan can offer.  If you can't find a good psychiatrist, then call the special services dept at your local school.  They have to help you and they have to keep it confidential.  Look, I know what your daughter is going through.  I was there myself.  Now I take mood stabilizers (Lamictal and Abilify) which have helped me tremendously - yes, I still get emotional but no more severe mood swings.  I also take Prozac to counter the depression side of the Bi-polar.  We're all different.  What works for me, may not be your answer, but you have to get her professional help for everyone's safety and peace of mind.  Good luck and keep posting to let us know how YOU are doing.  We'll be out here in cyberspace praying for you.

vivi

9/16/08 12:01am

Hi Rosebud,

I am a mother of a 16 yrs old son who's diagnosed for BP1 on April 30, 2008. He was acting like he had a super power talent, and he considered himself as God's sent to save people. He also heard voices and  was afraid to look at the mirror as he saw many demons attacking him. He was restless and anxious. Those things just happened suddenly within a few days. And we had to put him at a ward and under a pschychiatric. A month later, he was still zombie-like and his eyes were blank. Finally the psch decided to treat him with ECT (6 times). He was fine after the treatment, but the problem right now, he lost his confidence, cannt concentrate and has weak memory (he becomes so forgetful) and very lethargic in the morning.  This makes him very frustated because he used to a smart boy and he always had good grades at school. He always thinks that he is now the stupidest at class, since he flunks so many subjects, and very often says that he wants to quit school. The high school he is going right now is the second best in town, very popular and very difficult, and that makes him so depressed. Sometimes, he thinks of changing to other easier school to have less pressure. He is afraid of making decision. Anyway, he never shows any violent behaviour or trying to hurt others (even when he was sick), on the other hand, it seems that he likes to be with me all the times, depends on me and  becomes more like a little kid.  Last week, there were so many exams and he didnt manage to catch-up, as a result, he showed a sign of relapse, because, he cried and didnt talk to me at all, just stared. He is taking Seroquel 500 mg and Lamictal 75mg. I am wondering if those medicines have side effects for long term use. Because my son often experiences vision changes (the objects he sees become smaller than the actual size) and body shaking, especially when he is worried about his school.  Are those caused by the  medicines, the ECT or the depression?????

We try hard to boost his self-confidence, advice him not to talk in negative way, still it cdoesnt work. I am so worried about his future life, he might be unable to continue his education and which makes him more stressful as he used to be a very strong-will and determined boy. I wish I could  have done things which might make him feel better.  Do you have any ways how to cope this problem?

Rosebud

9/16/08 9:25am

I am very much like your son.  My last year in high school was hell.  I have never been a good student, but I wasn't a bad one either.  I was middle of the road.  I did well in the subjects that I liked or that came easy.  Before my break down, I managed to function on a pretty high level, but afterwards, I lost what little confidence I had left in myself and my abilities.  I wanted to run away and start over new.   In the fall of 2007 I began full time at the local community college.  I was so excited to make a fresh clean start.  Within weeks, I hated it.  It was hard.  The pressure mounted, I shut down and then I saw suicide as my only way out. 

 

I want to make something of myself.  I just can't do college.  I have reading comprehension and retention (learning) disabilities.  I know exactly what it feels like to "feel" stupid.  People think I'm lazy and that I don't want to try but I do want to try.  College is just too hard for me and then I get depressed and the cycle starts again.

 

I have two good close friends on my emergency "go to" list.  They know about my disorder.  They know when I call and say, "It's bad.  I need you."  They come and they talk me "up".  They give me positive reinforcement.  That is very important.  The other thing that pulled me through my really dark days was group therapy.  I mentioned before that my Mom got me into this program for teens in crisis.  Her insurance company gave her the name of the program.  I was there for 10 weeks with kids my own age suffering from the same disorder.  For the first time I felt like I was some place where they actually understood.  Kind of like this site.  Try to seek out a peer support program for your son.  He won't want to go at first (I didn't) and he won't think it is helping (I didn't) but at some point we stop all the denials and give in to professional help and that's the first big step towards balanced wellness.

 

Also, talk to your pharmacist about his medication.  Sometimes they're better to talk with then the pdoc.  Go on line and research the hell out of each drug he is taking.  We're all different.  The meds that work for me might not work for him.  I take Lamictal & Abilify to stabilize my moods and I take Prozac to counter the depression.   Also, I have hobbies. I love to scrape book and I write poetry.  That's 2 things I do when I feel I need some "escape from reality" time.  You son needs to find something to hold onto in his life right now, and that "something" might change over and over again.  He needs an escape, like painting, coloring (as silly as it sounds was very therapeutic) building models, roller blading, walking ... I've done them all!

 

You know the saying, "I can't find Mr. Right so I'm settling for Mr. Right Now"?  Well, my saying is: "I can't find the right life so I'm settling for life right now."  You have a rough road a head of you.  Take it day by day and don't obsess about what the future holds for him right now.  He needs to take baby steps right now until he feels confident and comfortable in his own way.  He may never be the little boy you once had.  He may forever suffer from confidence problems, but he can learn skills and coping techniques to help during difficult times.  Therapy taught me so much.  Above all else, encourage him to stay in school and find all the help he can get from teachers or peer groups.  He might think they won't want to help him, but they will and that will give him confidence and maybe find him some new friends too.  We have to (we want to) show you (our parents) that we can be independent.  Just be as realistic and supportive as you can be for him.  Lean as much as you possibly can about BP and MI.  My Mom got this book called, Bi-polar for Dummies and she's forever telling people about it.  It's not going to be easy.  It's a long, long road to balance wellness and at some point we all relapse but at the end of the day all you can do is stand by him, hand him a road map and point him in the right direction. 

 

Good luck.

vivi

9/22/08 7:04am

Sorry, I just pressed the wrong pad, and undeliberetely send the unfinished message.

 

BTW, my son's interest is computer, he can sit in front of the computer for hours, playing games, downloading music, and doing others related with computer.

 

My question is will he be like this for the rest of his life? If it is so, then that means he has no future. Because he is a kind of person who doesnt want to say openly to me. He is unable to decide things, always says "doesnt matter" or "up to you" or "I dont know".. things like that.

 

In my country, it is hard to find support groups, as BP is very uncommon. No expert here. So what I should do for the best care of my son then.

I have the Dummies for BP already, and yes the book is helpful but sometimes we cannt just apply it in reality, just like it is hard to apply it in my son's case.

 

Pls help me solve the case