HELP - My husband drained my account now no $$ for the mortgage

The only thing I can say when you do decide to confront him about it is to be supportive. Perhaps involve your children (don't know how old they are) and let them know they need to be supportive as well.

Since I've not had anything I'd call a successful relationship, that's all I know to tell you.

Well this is coming from someone who is bipolar and I was the one who drained the bank account several times. I still don't understand why but for quite a few years before I was diagnosed spending money was the only thing that made me feel anything. Although none of the money was spent on me it was always on my husband and children it was still gone. My husband took over ALL of our finances I don't even have an atm card anymore. My name was removed from our checking account, at first I was mad because I felt like I was being treated like a child. Now even though somedays it is frustrating (like if I want to go to the store and he is not home to write me a check or give me money) I have learned to live with it and I don't feel the guilt and anxiety that I felt when I realilzed I had spent the months mortgage payment at Walmart. My husband makes sure I always have some cash so it works out ok. It is all trust and I knew I could trust him to do the right thing when my illness wouldn't let me. I don't know if that helps but that is my story.  Good luck

I am living the very same way.  Husband has spent every dime we had for retirement.  Now we are living on SS alone.  We have been married and for 36 years I didn't know he had this.  We have always been short of money but now at retirement we have only a small little house.  That is fine for me but we used to have last 2 houses paid of now we have a morage.  I don't know how old you are, but my best advice is start your oun bank account and start saving all you can.  My husband is a bipolor that say's very mean things one minute and then says he was only kidding, but the arrow is still in your heart.  Then he has a plan for a day on how he can get rich.  Then he is so dreppessd that every thing is bad.  Live with week after week.  Then there is the nice wonderful man when people come over or when the phone rings and he know's them.  He can sit and sleep all weekend and say very little, look mad and when someone comes he is mister nice guy.  Everyone thinks I have the nices't guy.  I have tryed to tell even my kids how it really is but nobody believe's me.  He wouldn't believe he had bipolor for over 2 years.  It took 2 years to get him to take his meds.  He does't believe the doctor knows anything, but is wonderful to there face.  I could go on and on.  If you asked me if I knew what it was going to be like would I stay.  Hell no but at 70 it is a little late so there goe's my life and anything I wanted to do before I die.  Sorry but that is the truth.  If you would like to talk again, please do.  take care and do something nice for yourself.     

I am bipolar and just got diagnosed last summer.  It had for me gotten to a point where I KNEW something had to be wrong, but even after the psychologist told me my diagnosis I still was a little skeptical.  I had my first "UH HA" moment when I purchased a book my therapist told me to read and I was as far as the second chapter when it felt like I was reading a book on myself!  That made things so clear for me, and it was easier to deal with it by discovering it myself, with out the feeling of someone pointing a finger at me and telling me what my problems are.  If your husband is anything like me he probably doesn't like to be told that something is WRONG with him, it makes you want to put up all wall and turns your heart to ice.  You also have to know that those feelings are not his.  This mental disease can take your true self away and leaves you with many uncontrollable emotions.  All I can say is buy these 2 books and say that a friend, co-worker or even and chain email said that these 2 books where worth reading.  Have them on the coffee table or kitchen table for a little while, out in the open, and just make it seem like you are meaning to get to it.  If he doesn't take an interest in checking them out, start reading them yourself, but not in front of him.  He will just see them with book marks and see that you are interested but not trying to shove anything down his throat.  They would like to make decisions for themselves and as soon as they get the feeling that you want them to do something or are trying to con them into it, they back away and the chance is lost forever.

The books are "Brilliant Madness" by Patty Duke, "An unquiet Mind" by Kay Redfield Jamison.  These are true stories of struggles with Bipolar.  Make sure that if he notices these books you just shrug it off as just some book that you heard about and everyone is talking about, and LEAVE IT AT THAT.  If he doesn't take the bait, at least you know that you made and effort with it and know that he doesn't suspect a thing.  Also, do you happen to know if anyone around you (your family, your friends, his family or friends) are Bipolar?  Chances are if he is, then there is bipolar in his blood line.  Any time you bring up subjects about the illness you never make it seem like you are asking him, or naming him.  Once that door is closed off to you, you will find it hard to open again. 

I wish you the best.  I feel for you and it saddens me to know that there is more people who struggle but do not know from what.

 Alexis