Yesterday I went to the funeral of a friend. All of us that went were experiencing some anniversary grief, based on our own previous losses. Some people were hurting more than others, and some drank WAYYYYY too much. A woman who I have concidered a friend was very nasty to me toward the end of the evening and accused me of sleeping with her boyfriend. PAH-LEEEEEZE! She was kind of drunk (not that 'drunk' is an excuse) and she was very cruel and hurtful. She knows that I am dedicated to my husband, but she just had to take her pain out on me. I am so sick of women who do this to me. This woman is insecure because she is disabled and her boyfriend is mean to her. I swear, she made me so mad (hurt) that I wanted to throw her walker into the middle of the street! She didn't just leave it at accusing me of sleeping with her ugly boyfriend, she kept on saying hurtful things until I just put up my hand in her face and then walked away. I was in tears, she was so unkind.
I've been nothing but kind to her. I've been a friend to her, and she treats me like that! She acts like we're in pre-school with her envy and cruel words.
I've had to end hurtful friendships before, the last one being a friend I had for 11 years. The people who saw that I was upset said to just let it roll off of my back. Yeah...well, it didn't happen to THEM. I don't want to let it "roll off of my back", I want to end the friendship and not talk to her anymore. She had no reason to treat me that way. Even if she apologizes, I don't think I will be speaking to her anymore. I know she was hurting, I know she was drunk... but the INTENT was there to hurt me, whether or not she was drunk and hurting.
I simply cannot let people be cruel to me anymore. I have too much to deal with to have "friends" who think they can treat me that way.
My question is this: Do you think I am being too rash to end the friendship over this very hurtful incident, concidering the circumstances? I've pretty much already made up my mind, but would like an outside point of view. I'm so close to the forest that I can't see the trees, if you know what I mean.
Also, I know that my BPD makes me less apt to put up with bullcrap from people. I just don't have it in me to be the forgiving sap that I used to be. I used to let everyone walk all over me. Does anyone else feel this way?
Published On: November 16, 2008