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Dreading Xmas Eve

By LifeontheIsland Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Xmas Eve is the anniversary of my father's death. I dread it every year. I wish I didn't.

 

I'm all ready for xmas, but am dealing with grief. I hate the meds I am on, but Dr. insists that they will 'eventually' do some good for me.

 

Am also in physical pain with a bad back - need a disk replacement at L5/S1.

 

HOw can I enjoy the life that is being stolen from me through BP pain and physical pain? I'd rather be in physical pain than mental pain.

 

My sex life is nil, I no longer enjoy it due to the meds I am on for BPD.

 

I cannot kill myself because I have a family. I don't know how to keep on going everyday.... and everynight....

 

Any Advice?

New to Lithium
12/23/08 5:01pm

I don't know if I can offer any advice that would take the pain away.  But I can offer you my best thoughts this xmas eve.  You are not alone.  :)

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By LifeontheIsland— Last Modified: 11/11/10, First Published: 12/23/08