I feel better physically (as far as side effects) and my emotions are only a county fair roller coaster.  Yesterday I managed to miss both my therapy appointment and my psych appointment because I cannnot tell what time it is.  To balance my wasted day I spent $400 and stayed up until 4 am doing a big class assignment and watching tv.  It is not often that I have had my mind race like it has the last month.  It exhausts me.  Also, I have had an insane sex drive.  What is normal anyway?  The books all seem to hedge around "hypersexuality" and never really spell it out.  This, however, is a definite improvement from the hallucinations.

I have tried to focus my manic attention on my husband so that we don't have arguments; I spend money, but I buy him clothes and presents and things.  I think I'm very clever. 

A positive development has been my ability to think about something OR NOT think about something.  My mind before was been like a river, with all thse rushing streams converging and diverging and all this flotsam carried and submerged.  Each one so wet and cold and real that it couldn't be ignored.  Starting to disect what it means to be grandiose and wondering if that is like that strangely arrogant, blindly aggressive surety that seeps out sometimes. 

MOST OF ALL, hate the fact that my words stutter, they disappear, they break and disappoint me. 

But overall, doing well!