hi im Ash, im 17 years old and was diagnosed with manic depression in january just gone,
i was diagnosed with depression in november 07 and was put on 20mg of prozac, which of course made me sky high, i was doing 12 hour shifts at my work placce and only getting paid for 9!!!! however i had an "over rev" epsiode and after several arguments about me not being at home, and of course my girlfriend complaining about my suddenly huge sex drive, which resulted in me taking all of my drugs in 1 sitting and cutting my arm up.
anyway after my Doc pulled me down from cloud nine he concidered bipolar, and, as my mum also has it and ive never met my biological father, i had a 1 in 10 chance of having it, after my 2nd visit to the shrink however that went to a 6 in 10 chance when at last he diagnosed me with bipolar.
He then put me on Lithium and Citalopram, which worked wonders untill i would forget to take my pills a few nights, or think "what the hell, its only a week till my next perscription, il live". unfortunatly my episodes have been worse and worse.
Last week things had got so bad, one day when i left for work i was fine (only just a little quiet and a bit grumpy) which is understandable when you work in retail!! but on the way to work i had a complete meltdown! tears rolling down my face and everything, i couldnt hack going to work (as they have had to move me due to my inconsistancy....... which basicly means they like me when im on a peak but can be dealing with my lows... this made me feel REALLY good as you can imagen)
anyway i returned to my girlfriends and broke down in her arms, this was begining to be a regular thing, probably the only person i can lean on, trust and talk to. shes been there for me from the very begining of my problems.
but unfortunatly a year and a bit on she droped a bombshell...
she told me yesterday that she cant cope with me anymore, with my paranoia, the way i change with my tablets, my peaks and lows, and basicly everything that i cant help!!
this is really hard for me to cope with, i need her because i love her but she says that i need time to get myself sorted..... thing is im going to have bipolar for life.....
it was so depressing hearing her say about all this stuff i put in her head, made me think that not only is my life ruined and my head messed up, but im doing it to everyone else......
please help..... i feel the biggest downer coming on
