BI-polarcoaster aka wits end

I am crippled by lonliness....after my daughter went to live with her father bc I was lets just say very "close to god" (I chose to starve myself...I guess even then I wanted to torture myself or more than likely wait for someone to save me..Borderline traits i know).....had maybe a week left..maybe...and went away for a couple months...to rehab aka rockstar rehab....but thats going in the book i'm writing. "Rehabulous".lol ...I wrote alot of dark poems about lonliness etc..maybe one day i'lll share....That to me is the absolute worst part of this crap...BEING ALONE (another borderline trait i know)..I wait until the birds chirp until i can settle the brain...I read mental health journals and books constantly...I've become obsessed. However, I may go into this field so I look at everything including my thoughts, feelings, behaviors, actions as research...for instance...who wants a counsleour who isn't an addict when every client is...its an empathy component that is so necessary especially in getting this patient population to become entrusting of you.  Well, that's all for now folks...   thank you for not letting me be alone  aka the silent killer..