My partner is bipolar, and walked away from the relationship almost two months ago. When we communicate, it is via text message because our communication otherwise leads to conflict. I love this woman dearly and want to work things out, but she is not cooperative. I made the mistake of labeling her with ugly names (verbal abuse once or twice) and even though she says she forgives me, she refuses to come home. What can I do to start repairing our relationship and gaining her trust again. I knew very little about bipolar when this happened, but have since started educating myself. I believe she loves me, but is having an affair at this time. What, if anything, can I do?
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bipolar partner deserts relationship
10/ 1/09 7:07am
I'm truly sorry your partner has left, but sometimes that's the best solution.
With or without having Bipolar disorder, respect, support and working the best we can on any relationship, should be for everybody and in this case she's the one with BP but you were the abusive one, so why should she stay? Love is not enough when respect is out of the equation. If you really love her, then let her be happy no matter the choices she makes, she is free to do the best for her. Don't ever blame Bipolar disorder on the decisions people make, blame the abusive behavior or something else when things don't work out as you want them to be. I guess you have learned that nobody likes to be mistreated with or without being ill.
Alex
10/17/09 2:48pm
Why not consider getting some therapy for yourself, if you are indulging in abusive behavior I would make that job one before you consider being in any intimate relationship.
As far as blaming her leaving the relationship on bipolar disorder, consider the reason she may very well have left for, being on the receiving end of name calling and verbal abuse. Or it may be the fact that she is in some state that is influencing her behavior. Either way, it is what she did, she is gone for now, it doesn't really matter what you pin the behavior on, it just IS.... get on with your life, look at yourself, and wait and see what life brings you. :)
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Hate to say it but she most likely won't come back my second wife did me the same way and though i loved her i left and now don't give her a second thought. And most bipolar people are very sexual or i am at least but she's still talking to you that could be a good sign but once the name calling starts we'll usually go because we think we're making someone miserable. But i hope she does come back and if she does don't start accusing her or she'll just leave again.