Hi,

One might think it's odd to reach out to complete strangers but I decided to join this site because I feel better reading other's stories and knowing that I am not the only one struggling to battle what is commonly referred to as "Bi-Polar". As long as I can remember I've had trouble keeping my emotions under control. "Irritability" would be an understatement. My family tried many times to help. When I was younger I went to therapy and tried different medications but I guess, you "Can't help those who don't want help." In my relatively young adult life, I've managed to make every mistake in the book. My feelings of both mania and depression hurt just about every aspect in my life. Loss of friends, destroyed relationships, loss of life savings, insurmountable debt, substance abuse, compulsive behavior, trouble keeping jobs, etc. The list goes on and on. But the worse part is having to deal with it everyday. I recently sought help in the form of medication by trying Lamictal. I try to stay away from SSRI's as the side effects and mania become troublesome. I really wish I didn't have to live with this. I wonder what my life would be like if I didn't feel this way. I feel alone and frustrated more often than I'd like to admit. I really wonder if it's possible to live a functional life. I know that life doesn't become better over time but it depresses me to see the rest of the world moving forward, while I stand by and watch it pass by.