I want to help my husband but don't know how - help!

If you read "all of the posts on here" then you've, I hope, read the comments.

You can not diagnose him with Bipolar.

He has to go to a psychiatrist for an evaluation to determine what, if anything, he might be struggling with.

Some folks do just have a "bad temper" and have anger management problems and otherwise are high flying free spirit type personalities, not suffering with Bipolar.

Only a true psychiatrist, not general practitioner, not internal medicine, etc.. can diagnose him.

If, indeed, he is diagnosed then there are treatment options, etc., etc., etc., THIS doesn't mean that all the behavior will cease to exist nor does it mean it will cease to exist overnight.  Some, with Bipolar, still have behavioral impulses EVEN while medicated and undergoing treatment as prescribed.  It is a life long chronic, often can be (even on meds) a debilitating illness.

Now, having repeated all of that.  HE HAS TO GO TO THE PSYCHIATRIST.  

IF he doesn't go then there is nothing YOU can do period.
If he takes a swing at you, your daughter, threatens your safety, or your daughter's then call 911.

If he threatens himself or proceeds to harm himself, call 911.

If he threatens anyone else or proceeds to act on those threats towards anyone else, call 911.

Are you willing to do that?

Finally, what you are willing to put up with is what you are willing to put up with.  If you allow him to cross boundary lines that is your decision.  However, you have a 2 year old in the house absorbing all the stress, tension, potential danger of some sort of abuse (you said he's come close but hasn't ever actually), and this is forming her development even if she isn't even in the room.  Just picking up on your situation is enough.  They are like sponges, the children, when they are young.

It's your decision and his decision to go get an evaluation.  If he doesn't, then you will have to decide.  There is absolutely nothing here anyone can say directly for you to do that you do not already know.  There is no magic words, no trick you can pull out of your hat, no amount of loving or petting or fixing special dinners, that is going to help you. 

HE HAS TO GO ON HIS OWN and if he doesn't, make a decision FOR you AND your daughter and stick with it.

Oh, and if he does go on his own to the psychiatrist and is diagnosed and is put on a treatment plan - DO NOT ALLOW HIM TO USE THE ILLNESS AS AN EXCUSE from there on for any or all inappropriate behavior.  Hold him responsible & accountable to his actions and hold him responsible & accountable for maintaining the treatment cause you can't do it for him.

Hi.  I just wanted you to know that I'm where you are.  I've been wondering for years whether he was crazy and I should leave, or I'm just too sensitive, or maybe i'm seeing things in the relationship and griping about stuff that i shouldn't worry about.  He was recently diagnoses with thyroid disease, and with that i learned often comes bipolar disease.  the more i read about it, the more it's like i'm reading about us.  now that I know it's just a disease, i now know i'm not crazy in feeling like i do, but it makes the desicion harder.. do i put up with it for his sake and sacrafice myself, or leave for my daughter and me to hopefully have a better life, even though i love him..  I think it's a personal decesion for everyone.  I just wanted to let you know that I understand.

If you can't get a spouse or boyfriend or family member to go for help, then you go....it will really help!  It will help you decide what to do, how to respond, and where to go from here!  PLEASE GO!