Feeling Guilty

When I was taking medicine, I felt like you felt. I knew I needed to take the medicine but then I felt that I really didn't have a problem. I have not figured out how to shake that feeling, so if you figure it out please be sure to let me know. Good Luck.

when i am feeling normal i do think why am i on these things. it is as if i am taking advil and my headache is gone why keep taking them.

I've had this problem from from the beginning, I constantly went off meds because once I was feeling normal, I thought I really didn't have a problem, after many years of going off meds, having an episode, then having to get back on my med regimen to straighten myself out I have accepted that no matter how normal I feel I have to keep on my meds, it is too expensive not to (ie: emergency room visits, spending sprees, etc.) I feel normal now, but yes, I do feel quilty, like nothing is really wrong with me, but I know from experience this is just a false sense of security, and I have to fight the desire to stop meds or I'll make everyone around me, including myself miserable while I slip back into depression, mania, and a delusional state of mind. 

I feel exactly the same way I know I still have depression and still take the meds but now where do I go from here do I still see a therapist or just the med Dr and I worry about having a break down but I have just begun to take one day at a time and enjoy the day and the many new feelings I have and all the things I did that I wasnt able to do when I was depressed  I hope this help a bit

Kim

Hi Steven, I do know what you are going through.  I am 51 and began my journey many, many years ago.  It was only after proper medication and dosage was finally figured out, that I began to wonder if there was really anything wrong.  It took tons of will power and positive self-talk and psychotherapy (talking with a counselor), to stay on my medicine, because I felt better.  Now I know it, and it took about 6 months of gradually realizing what was happening was the real day-to-day continuation of the meds keeping me feeling the way I did.  Its okay to feel the way you feel.  I believe, as it happened to me, that you will begin to believe that yes, you do have bipolar, and yes, its the meds that are helping you to feel normal.  Remember meds equal the worlds normal.  We stay our individual self, the meds just help us regulate what is happening.  No more crazy highs and no more crashes.  Its okay, please take your meds right, its important to you and to those who love you, and your bipolar community.  Don't get off the meds because you feel normal because all will become is a statistic.  Thanks for letting me share.  Its my first time for doing so, Debra

My doctor told me that "you should not aim at getting of meds, but having no relapse again" 

I also had a lot of struggle taking meds to stablise my emotions -- but after a relapse last summer, i realise it was mostly me who label myself as ab-normal (normal/abnormal is very subjective).  Having meds does not mean that you are not healthy.  Many people with diabetics and high blood pressure also take meds for a looong time if not forever.   You are healthy as long as you are functioning physically, mentally and socially.     

I am sure eventually you will be able to convince yourself that you dun have a problem, but have a condition that can make you a stronger person.  

Let's try our best to master our emotions :)

All the best

JC

Yes, it is an adjustment to feel normal! For me, there was a bit of grieving for loss of some of the feelings, both the highs and the lows. Definitely guilt, but also sadness just for losing what had been my 'normal.'