My life had been starting to get more difficult. I should have seen the signs. My medications weren't doing their jobs. Then there was the day they thought I'd had a stroke.
I was at work and all of a sudden I was slurring my words. My face felt numb. I called my parents who said go straight to the emergency room; they couldn't understand half of what I was saying. When I got there and was triaged, they were perplexed because I presented no other signs of stroke, but as a precaution they admitted me.
I spent three days in the hospital. They performed every test they could think of because obviously there was something wrong. Then at the end of the second day the neurologist thought to look at the list of psychiatric medications I was taking. Aha! The Geodon is the cause. What I had was Tardis Dyskenisia, a somewhat common side effect of Geodon. Late the next afternoon I was sent home with a plan. I was taken off of all three of my psych meds. For three weeks I'd start back on them one at a time, the final week being the Geodon.
I took three weeks leave from my job and with much trepidation sat on my couch unmedicated. I will be unmedicated for the first time in 15 years.
Week One.
Millie (the dog), Astra (the new kitten) and I spent most of our time on the couch watching the same loop of shows over and over again on E! One or two of my friends came by. This marks the end of many of my friendships. I was too needy and did not want to talk about much more than myself or my pets. Forget about the things I used to do with them. I haven't been able to walk past a club in a couple of years let alone go inside of one with them. In short, I am no fun.
At this point I start taking my Lamictal, the most benign of my meds. My brain has started racing at a speed that I have forgotten how to listen to let alone translate. I'm trying to learn again. This is bad.
I go to my mailbox one day and there is a box of brand new checks from the checking account I was magically allowed to open through the credit union that my new job belongs to. Once again, this is bad.
Week Two
I am still afraid of the outside world, but I have checks. I start the Seroquel which should calm manic tendencies, but it doesn't work that way. It will take up to 10 days for that to happen.
My mind is racing; all I can think of is how wonderful spending will feel. This is enough to abandon the couch, the animals, and Dr. 90210 to go to the Mall. In about an hour I have written about $200. I have no idea if there is enough in my account to cover this. I've been trying to keep a running balance in my head, but the way my thoughts are racing in such a circular motion, who knows?
