Living with Bipolar Disorder is anything but easy. For the first 2 years I was convinced I was still a normal 22-year-old, but the hard learned truth was I simply wasn't, far from it. Unfortunately I was no longer just like my friends and could NOT juggle a job, the gym, work and living on my own. As much as I wanted this to be true, the truth was, it just wasn't. Change is something that is horrible for me and sends me into manic behavior in Hyper Speed. I have been hospitalized around 9 times. All over California: from Chico to San Diego to Concord to San Leandro to Sunnyville and back to Concord.

While being hospitalized in Concord, CA at John Muir Behavioral Health the most times (around 6 times.) I met a wonderful doctor that really helped get me on the right medicine. He always said, "You are a GOOD PERSON with a BAD DISEASE." That really stuck with me and I took to heart what he said and after he said it enough, I believed him. I have been on just about EVERY Psych Medicine and Mood Stabilizer under the sun. (i.e. Trilepal, Serqueol, Lithium, Geodon, Resperadal, you name it I have most likely been on.) Unfortunately in the beginning we weren't as knowledgeable about putting me on Cymbatal or Depression Medicine and that sends me into Mania in Hyper Speed as well. So you live and you learn. I have also been 5150ed and 5250ed several times. I have also been to the hospital voluntarily. Things at my home were all but wonderful so sometimes I would go to the hospital for a "Blue Cross Vacation," as sad as that sounds, it was the God Honest Truth.

I hope in this time of reflection I can learn and know what my actions produce, both in my behavior, consequences and how it affects my friends and family members.

If anyone has any insight or comments please feel free to let me know your experiences with the ups and downs, your medication and your hospitalization/mania/depression experiences.

Thank you greatly,

Kelli Tate