Ok so earlier i posted about how i did'nt get adequate sleep and blizting my boyfriend. Now or most of the day i have been spaced out, hyper in sense like overly happy, emotionally sensitive, just plain goofy(lack of coordination) and weird feeln. I remeber a very informative member of this site shared with the idea to use a candles to relax. I have yet to use a candle put i did do some form of light. Today was a beauitfu day. The sun finally decided to grace our snowy weather and melt most of it away. I opened the blinds and felt the sun shine in just a little. It had a odd effect on me that was good. I felt like nice, relaxed and happy. I felt extremely comfortable and a tad lazy. I made plans to go out and visit family but my boyfriend ruined that with is awful snoring. When i dont get enough sleep especially if its only 5 hrs a sleep or less i feel out of place mentally and cant concentrate. I have these episodes before and it was hard to drive and nothing seemed real. I used my better judgement and stayed home. I value my life and others as well. I dont want anymore accidents. My boyfriend didnt understand and said i was making excues. He is a good man but i have to keep reminding myself that he doesnt completely undestand what i am going through so i didnt get mad i stayed calm and talked to him. He understood then. The sun on my skin was like vitamin D to my system, it felt great as i read my book for the most of the day. I made myself happy. I was little peeved that i couldnt leave but i made the most of the day. In the eveing i took a little nap but i still feel a little out of it. I feel like i could fly away and leave eveything behind. Not good. But i am ok and happy. I didnt do anything to endanger myself. I took my medicine so im still on the right track. Unfortunately it doesnt have the sleepy effect like to used to. It helped me sleep but now i struggle, well most of the time. When im overwhelmed with racing thoughts it definitely takes time to sleep..ergh. The medicine would stop that but not anymore. I already take 200mg of Lamitcal and the psy doc believes that is the best for me and should not increase it. I will admit that it does help get out of bed and do my daily routine. I just need to find other ways to rest. I will and have faith and keep pressing on.

Thanks for reading...blah blah blah