Being in an unhealthy marriage is, well, unhealthy. I've known for some time that I am in an emotionally abusive relationship, but it is insidious and we are completely codependent, making it very hard to do anything about it. The fear I feel when he goes into one of his "pity me" modes is real. He has never struck me and I don't believe he ever would. But the silent abuse is maddening. I don't think he knows how it affects me because I am not comfortable telling him. Everything is really about him, anyway. His anxiety is so incredibly powerful it overcomes every single bit of reality and sensibility in his heart and his mind. So when something doesn't go his way, the anxiety jumps in and says, "You'll die if you have to do this, so I'm going to make you feel like you're going to die," and he panics and gets sick and I end up doing whatever it is he didn't want to do in the first place. And because I dislike disharmony so much, I'll do anything to avoid it. So I'm doing anything and everything I can to keep harmony between us. I'm tired of it. I'm going to seek help for it. Christian counseling. God help me, please.