All my life i have struggled endlessly with depression and bipolar lately i feel the effects of the years i feel old and tired lonely and frustrated youth has no place in me anymore,i've noticed lately that i have given into my isolation and solitude i have always wanted just to be alone and  no one else to have peace.i have tried the marriage thing didn't work now i see why,alcohol played a huge factor in my battle with this so did lies.now i have found my peace and my serenity,so i thought i was wrong.being alone has only made me look at myself and see the person i have become and sometimes hate,but i have faced my demons and learned to slow down but the mental aspect is rather bothersome my thoughts scatter and are far off my attention span is thinning and i know why i am letting it.But that is the disease that plaques us that is the crippling aspect of it meds help for awhile soon or later we deal with it on our own we have to,i am 38 and i lived a faced paced life drinking,drugs,other addictions i'd rather not say maybe i finally realized it's time to just stop,work with this illness and not try to "whiteknucle" it on my own like i did alcohol.of all the things i have taken for granted because of this is love.to know then what i know now i'd still be married and probably not writing this but i am to all those out there frustrated no one understands or it seesms no one understands you when you try explain something without getting angry,or when you feel like it just isn't worth it i can relate.