Today I slept in late, had a nice, leisurely breakfast and cup of coffee, and I am  about to embark on a whirlwind cleaning project of my home.  My 3 year-old is with her Dad, my 2 oldest girls will be home for college in 4 days and life is very good right now.  I want to tell anyone who is thinking about a SAD light that i bought a PER3 light from Naturebright.  It broke within one week.  I left an e-mail and was answered quickly, courteously, and received a light in 4 days...and I think it helps.  I don't jolt awake to my alarm, heart pounding, and dread that noise. So i will give them a plug...and I do believe in the time I used it that it helps. 

    I am so excited about seeing my children again.  The holidays just wouldn't be the same without their college stories and terrifying antics. My house will be full and my grocery bill will blossom but I just want to hear their voices arguing over who won The Lord Of The Rings video game.

    I am feeling great today.  And I was pleased this past Thursday when I had a bad day.  Just too many things to do in the few hours I had to do them in and I was really annoyed.  I asked a friend to watch my 3yo and accomplished the tasks.  Still in a bad mood.  The next day my friend asked me, "Are you okay?  You looked kinda bad yestersay".  And I was able to tell her I was just having a bad day.  It was wonderful to be able to say that. I know she cares enough to observe me and my behaviour/mood and I was able to judge it correctly and tell her "no, I am not about to fall into the abyss".  Sometimes when I have a bad day I become frightened that it is the day before a low swing and the anxiety pretty much guarentees a low swing.  But my meds must be right or the stars are right or something, because I feel good.  Not a manic good, although I have been using the credit card lately, but who doesn't around Christmas.  I have been good and frugal and feeling in control.  Last entry I said I thought I might actually be in a "normal" period and I do believe it is true. 

    I see my pdoc tomorrow and am going to try to get my meds from Canadadrugs.  It's not illegal in my state to order drugs from Canada and I looked up Abilify and it was $250.00 compared to $410 at my pharmacy.  I don't have health insurance so i spend about $900.00 a month on drugs.  This sure would help around Christmas!  Happy Holidays, everyone.