So I tried to kill myself and realized that I should take myself to the hospital and admit myself.  My "boyfriend" told me that checking myself in was a cop out and that I need to just get over it.  I told him something is wrong in my head-- of course I was trying to take the easy way out b/c that is what I do.  When I went into the hospital I spent about a week there and discussed my home situation with my doctor, therapist, and psychologist.  I then realized how unhealthy my home life is, I may be bipolar II, but I don't deserve to be treated the way I have been. This whole time I was lead to believe (by my "boyfriend") that I was crazy, everything is in my head, and my family doesn't love me and he is the only one who cares about me.  I was isolated and lonely -- no wonder I was ready to throw in the towel.

At least I checked myself in and got the help I so desperately needed.  Thanks to many of you who told me to go to the hospital-- otherwise I would not have known where to go as I have no family or people I can trust where I live.  I know I did the right thing, but now I have to decide where to go from here.  I have a beautiful baby boy and he comes first, he needs to be in a healthy environment.  My family came to me the instant I called and let me know that they have been waiting for this call-- they knew this relationship was unhealthy and was praying every night I would wake up and know I am stronger and can do better and be happy.

I am scared.  I know I am doing the right thing, but at times it seems so hard to see that-- the true easy way out was for me to stay in my situation and be unhappy forever.  I have taken the first step, but could use some words of encouragement.  Thank you for helping take the step and check myself in, but now is the scary part begins....