For Marcus- The only person in the world strong enough to be sane, strong and willing to believe in this battered soul.
The world is just the same
as it was just yesterday
only my colours have run
from vivid green to grey
The slope was more slippery
the sensations did not last
the empty and the dark
engulfed me much too fast
You call to me from the real
and though you draw me near
I am voided by the chemistry
my love, I am not here
The numbness and the trials
and the meds all take their toll
but this is the trade for sanity
the euphoria or my soul
I'm sorry for all I put you through
it doesn't make it right
but I love you enough to go on
enough to stay with the fight
Through the colours brilliant
then the landscape stark
thank you for being here
in the empty and the dark
WOWO this was great, I so know those lowest of lows and how hard we hang on, you keep writing and letting it out, for you are touching so many without even knowingit, so many feel the way you expressed,
and i loved the statement
"i am not here"......for uhm i feel that way so often, i am physically but uhm mentally hmmm MANY places at once!!! and yet the depression and darkness that overcomes in an instant .....overcometh sometimes...
hold tight and keep writing, you're really very talented!!
just thought i'd let ya know how appreciated your creativity is!
ctrygirl
Thank you... I am truly touched that anyone even read that. If it meant something to you I am doubly blessed. Hang in there cause you aren't alone; not by a long shot.
HP
Oh believe me it touched me more than I could say.....i so feel that darkness creeping in so many times and yet i fight it with all i have for it can so encompass...your words put it in such a clear cut, open and vividly familiar way that i just read and reread it and YES it did help to know that others feel like they are running from the darkness that overtakes all of us at one time or another i suppose.....
but to explain that you really aren't there....well that really reached out and grabbed me for so many times...NOR AM I for if i were, well, not sure what the results would be.....so i try to utilize coping skills to hold back the veil that overcomes me so often.....it sure is a deep well...and I CAN"T SWIM! tehee
Well, just wanted you to know i appreciated your creativity and your ability to putinto words the true intensity of the enveloping aura of darkness we all so visit far to often....i prefer the mania, but uhm then it leads to even a darker experience when intense...
just wanted to let you know great job!!
good to meet you by the way.....please post more...love to read poetry and you have a talent....
your friend,
ctrygirl
ps ......you are doubly blessed and i bet triple blessed too without knowing it....do you do art??????
I guess you could say I do art... I am never quite sure what to call art and what to call junk. I have paintings, poetry, journals, short stories, calligraphy, digital art, and a host of other things. I am often trying to find something to keep it all at bay.
How do you cope?
Oh i so feel the same.....i don't know if my drawings are junk or art tehee..
but i cope with drawing, sketching, journaling, short stories, poetry, photography(great things come from this for bps have a unique perspective i think), reading, and most of all the GREAT OUTDOORS>>>i love to 4 wheel and get out in nature ...i also am a beekeeper, i know a little weird tehee, but daddy started the business and when he passed (my light source he was and still very very fresh, time heals nothing i don't think) but oh the pleasure i get out of that butit is seasonal, and i make things like lip balms, candles, ragrugs, and other craft stuff....not real girly girl kinda person and my husband and i love to get out and get in the wild woods around us, live in southern most part of ohio and oh the beauty here...check out some of my pics on the profile section (just clickon my name i think is all you need do and then go to my pics they are public) and well, so many ways...
but sure not sure i'd call it art either...good way to put it....you DO have a way with words......gifted for sure, I am sure so are your artworks!
glad we met, sincerely am.....hope to hear from you again and more ,
your new found friend,
ctrygirl