Announcement: Good morning ladies and gentleman, this is the captive speaking.... today we will be flying into the unknown and may experience turbulence.  The altitude we will be soaring at may be exceedingly high, rest assured we will plummet slightly and possibly even land Safely.  Any discomfort you may feel from the dizzying heights or sudden drop in mood will be temporary as this will fluctate wildly over the next few days.  Thank you for flying with Insanity Air and we hope you enjoy your flight-

I feel swirling... like I could cry or scream or collapse in bed and never get up.  I want to sleep.  I don't want to look at the to do list.  (Sometimes I call it a Ta Da list because its bleedin magic that anything gets done)  Thoughts are smoking rings floating around, you swipe at them and they are gone.    I know there are things to be done, I KNOW I need to focus, but the merry go round broke down and instead of stopping it just seems to be spinning faster.  The elevator is like a childs yo-yo and up and down seem to have minds of their own.  THIS is what I hate-  I HATE the mind racing and the body saying screw you I wanna go to bed.... Neither of them gets what it wants and I pull the pillow over my head and pray to sleep and not wake up.... But I bask in my cowardice and decide that I am scared of dying so let's no invite that thought.....

Instead, I vomit up these thoughts letting my fingers fly as if they could ever keep up with my brain... let the tears flow as if to empty out my heart as the keyboard empties out my head....  There are times it just better to throw it all up and get it out- like inducing vomiting before the poison gets too deep in your veins....

Maybe there is such a thing as a good cry.