The mad chemist in my head did me no favors over the winter. The delightfully morbid cocktail of SAD and Bipolar had me inches from the bottom. Its amazing how something as simple as a change in season plunged me from a time in life that was so very good... to seeing it as a daily battle to survive. The frightening thing is that NOTHING outside my brain's perception changed. It erroded my immune system and I stayed ill.
I could feel the crisis coming I selected a therapist and eventually a psy dr that I could cope with. I struggled trying to do anything (EVERTHING) to get over it and NOT have to medicate. It wasn't getting better. Finally, there was nothing else to try except going down this road again.
The good news is that we are having some success with Depakote ER (mood stabilizer) and ativan for crisis irritability. Its still rough right now but many of my days are clearer.
I want to live again and that's a good thing. I am now making plans rather than just struggling through the day. That can't be all bad... Right?
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