Anxiety 101- 80 things going on in my head but my body is still.....

going up... and I know it.... the draw to the canvas and the pen tells me so.  Its not always a productive thing... and I have already started uping my meds in order to head this off at the pass.... (deep healing breaths)

I was listening to Pink's song Sober.... and there were things I can see in this song...

I am going to share some of these lyrics... Anyone else see themselves?

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"I'm safe up high, no one can touch me... Why do I feel this party's over?  no pain inside you're like perfection....'

"I don't wanna be that call in 4 o'clock in the morning...."

"ah the sun is blinding. ahh stayed up again..."

Ah, the night is callin'
And it whispers to me softly, "Come and play"
But I, I am fallin'
And if I let myself go I'm the only one to blame

Comin' down, comin' down, comin' down
Spinnin' 'round, spinnin' 'round, spinnin' 'round
Lookin' for myself, sober

When it's good, then it's good, it's so good 'til it goes bad
'Til you're trying to find the you that you once had
I have heard myself cry 'never again'
Broken down in agony, just tryin' find a friend, oh, oh

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I get on a serious "playing a song over and over" kick when I get like this....

I can't tell if my swing going up or is going to be mixed until it starts to spread into my limbs and the restlessness starts. 

My friends used to call it twitchin'.  If you need me I will be in the studio.... and will have to set reminders and  alarms so I don't lose hours.  We will use the ride up until the depakote gets a handle on it.  The Ativan is here if it gets too loud....

try to keep ya posted