when i was like 14 i was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, because well i was depressed very bad and i had anger out bust like breaking windows. so i was put on zolaft and i had a manic episode and i was hospitalized and then i was put on prozak and i had another manic episode and was hospitalized and then i just didnt recieve no more meds or help untill now, i am 23 now so for the last 9 years i have expienced depression slept a lot, isolated feeling hopeless just sad and it interfeard with my life several times for no reason i also would still get so mad and quit jobs, school, yell, cuss people out, through things but i really dont have like any manic episodes i am never to happy never have a lot of energy or talk a lot or fast, when i do do good like keep a job i feel like i can take on anything at that time but mabey thats just a feeling of accomplishment. so any ways i just when back in to the mental health stuff to get help geting so depressed again and quiting everything and this time the doctor and my therapist dont think i have bipolar disorder. i was diagnosed with major depression and ptst, and panick disorder. i have told them about all of my behavoir and they say that it can be from ptsd. but for like 2 months now i have been taking celexa and i feel worse i have cutt on myself i feel like killing this person then myself and i cant stop thinking of this person and i have never felt this way before ti told my therapist she said i can control this and i really dont know if i can i give into inpulses so easy and this inpulse is so strong and i have been fighting it but i have never felt this way before i have pland out how i was going to kill her and myself then i colm down then i want to do it again i cant stop thinking of this person i feel really suicidal to i dont know if this is from my meds or what could i be bipolar? could this be from my meds i dont know i dont really understand what a manic episode is