Yesterday morning found me working on my book trying to add or subtract ideas that I thought might be of benefit to our community of people living with the illness and our caregivers. I had hit a memory block in that nothing made sense and no matter how hard I tried to write…it just wouldn’t come. The harder I tried the more frustrated I became…what a way to start the day.

Next item of the day was the usual ritual of sitting down and paying the bills that happens twice a month. We had a few unexpected car repair bills this month that stretched the budget to the extreme and with the added cost of gas and heating fuel this winter going up, left little monies to play with. I found myself saying in my head how life was so unfair.

I guess I just got myself into a rut yesterday of just feeling sorry for myself with the challenges life sometimes throw at us. This all came to a head last night while talking with my friend that was diagnosed with cancer. He has been hospitalized now for over a month undergoing radiation and chemo.

The doctor had just left his room after telling him that there was nothing more they could do. He was in tears and trying his best to come to terms with it all. He talked of what he was now going to miss out on…not being able to see his grandkids grow up and other events that lay in the future. He talked of the things he never accomplished and wished he had done, thinking he had plenty of time left here on earth.

I couldn’t help but feel ashamed that I had spent most of the day feeling sorry for myself thinking it couldn’t get any worse. My illness is not a death sentence and I do have the power to change directions and plan for the future, my friend doesn’t.

Were a guy’s guy in that we normally don’t show much emotions, buy yesterday was different in that at the end of the conversation he said “I love you”. My response? I love you too and you’re in my prayers.

So when you’re feeling sorry for yourself and think it can’t get much worse….take a good look around and I am willing to bet you will find someone much worse off than yourself still trying. Try to make the best of everyday because it may be your last.